Last week we asked you to give us some gift ideas for rational people, otherwise known as adults who are well aware that buying gifts for people other than children around the holidays is a waste of everybody's time, money, and good nature. Here are some of your suggestions for gift haters.

You thought you were out of the woods on explaining the Elmo sex scandal. Well you were wrong. Dead wrong. Puppeteer Kevin Clash, beloved for creating Sesame Street's Elmo character and also for creating this sex scandal, now faces three accusers who claim that Clash trolled gay phone chat lines to find underage teenagers to seduce at his home. And now you're asking yourself, "which gay phone chat lines, exactly, for research?" And also, "how can I tell my kids?"

Is it possible to twist someone's nipples completely off? Definitely not, right?

Remember that dream you had about Neil Patrick Harris starring in an adult-oriented web series that features a cast of "alternative miscreant puppets" from the Jim Henson Company?

Deputies in Manatee County, Florida, were called to a private residence in Bradenton yesterday to intervene in a domestic dispute resulting from a case of premature ejaculation.

A Madison-based cancer support group named after legendary Saturday Night Live player Gilda Radner has announced that it will be changing its name to accommodate younger patients unfamiliar with the iconic comic, who passed away of ovarian cancer in 1989.

Kader Hamza Pasha street is stand-off central. CSF police on one side, kids on the other side. Rocks vs. tear-gas. Molotov cocktails vs. rubber bullets. With increased protesters out today–some reports estimated there were close to 200,000 people in the square today –today's battles were much more intense and unpredictable. One photojournalist told us that today's vibe reminded her of Egypt's last revolution in January of 2011, the one that threw the country into a state of anarchy until the army took over. As you watch the video above, remember that everyone involved in today's clashes were willing to die for their cause, even the ignoble ones.

Over at Slate today, Seth Stevenson takes on the "supercut," aiming to explain why some people "spend so many hours stitching footage into YouTube collages." He spoke to Chris Zabriskie, who put together the Lost "What?" reel, along with a few others, and also put together his own supercut – one of all the frames in which the bunny-cased iPhone of Zoe Deschanel's New Girl character Jess appears. Here's the takeaway:

Today, the once fawned-over phenom Alicia Keys released her fifth album, Girl on Fire (not a Hunger Games reference!). It's pretty good — I've never thought of her as a great provider of texture, but there's a sonic adventurousness to this album unlike that of any she's released so far. Perhaps it is compensation for her increasingly strained voice (though that sort of thing rarely bothers me — a little grit from overuse can add a lot of soul).

Here's a bit of context to help you navigate the latest installment of "local news interviewees say the darndest things": 1. This lady is from Portland; 2. She knows the Vacuum Cleaner Man; 3. He's seen her tits.

Steven Reed, host of the Weber Cooks segment on Weber State University's student-run news program Weber State News, isn't one of those fancy shmancy Food Network chefs with all their pomp and garnishes.

Snaps to you, drag queens. Looks like you will be allowed to dress in drag on your drag queen-themed cruise vacation after all.

Activists from several national AIDS organizations stormed House Speaker John Boehner's office earlier today to protest budget cuts to anti-HIV/AIDS programs.

Warren Buffett thinks that print newspapers will be around in 20 years. Warren Buffett won't, though.

The Associated Press has obtained an "EXCLUSIVE" document purporting to prove that Iran is working to build a nuclear weapon with "more than triple the explosive force of the World War II bomb that destroyed Hiroshima." Behold! The Chart of Doom!

Barack Obama won a significant mandate, including swing states in the traditionally GOP-strong south. The Republicans have been handed a resounding defeat, sending pundits sniping at one another and assigning blame. The party's wise men have been exposed, and its fundamental demographics, economics and social politics have all been called into question.

Long story short, Philly.com ran a photo from Playboy in which a woman wantonly displays a hot naked boob as the illustration for a column today. This fact was noted by many readers and by Jim Romenesko, and the photo was removed. Will we allow faceless "news" organizations to try to erase the historical record like that? No, so the original boob illustration is below.

TMZ today responded to a widely circulated report recently published in the San Francisco Chronicle claiming the gossip site was among the myriad public and private entities flooding the Federal Aviation Administration with applications for their own private drones.

Dolly Parton says implants don't age: "My girls are doing pretty good." Now you know.

The confrontation that resulted in the shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Russell Davis started over loud music, according to investigators in Brevard County, Florida.