Just as we all remember that famous AP photo of then President George W. Bush first hearing about the 9/11 attacks, so too will we remember this image of counterterrorism official John Brennan briefing President Obama on the details of last month's devastating Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. The photo was released yesterday via the official White House Flickr feed. Reads the picture's caption: "The President later said during a TV interview that this was the worst day of his Presidency."

Sheila and Dominic Traina of Staten Island were in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner when they suddenly spotted their New Dorp Beach home in an Allstate ad aimed at patting the insurer on the back for helping victims of Superstorm Sandy get back on their feet.

Esquire and ESPN Magazine writer Chris Jones—winner of both a National Magazine Award (though not as many as he believes he deserves) and a Gawker Least Important Writers award—has long been known as that guy. That guy who, despite having one of the more enviable writing jobs in journalism, would wail about not winning an award. That guy who would launch soul-pained howls against the merest online insult. That guy whose Twitter bio said "I'm also a big fan of The Three B's: bacon, books, and bourbon"—until now.

The above photo comes to us from a tipster whose friend took off on a plane from Iceland yesterday and quickly ascended to hell in the skies.

A Las Vegas blackjack dealer who sold her story of sext and intrigue involving Anthony Weiner to Radar Online made an impromptu appearance on the former congressman's Facebook page to apologize for destroying his political career.

Barney Frank, who literally retired from the House of Representatives yesterday, wants to be a Senator now.

Newton, Massachusetts, is consistently voted among the safest cities in America. So it's no wonder, then, that police officers have plenty of time for extracurricular activities.

The Upper West Side complains about rats more than any other neighborhood. Why so sensitive, Costanza?

Public dancer Angela Trimbur takes her predilection for dancing like nobody's watching while everybody's watching to LAX, where she is met at baggage claim by a courtesy call from The Black Angels.

Basing its decision on a law from 1872, an appeals court in California ruled that a man convicted of rape by a trial court was not guilty of the crime because the woman he allegedly raped wasn't married.

Towards the end of last year, two people were shoved onto subway tracks and killed in separate incidents. Tonight, two plainclothes NYPD cops were shot, a bystander was grazed by a bullet and a suspect was killed after opening fire at the Fort Hamilton Parkway subway stop in Brooklyn.

The fiscal cliff has been avoided, and here's the best news: it means the end of fiscal cliff parody accounts! Assuming you're sane, you weren't following any of these accounts, anyway. But let's roll the montage of "greatest hits" so we never forget how creatively empty and unfunny Twitter is at its worse.

The customer is always right — unless the customer is a person that wants to put ketchup on his Philly cheesesteak. Because, what the fuck? This is an indisputable fact backed up by sandwich artist Lawrence Ordone, pictured at left, who was fired from a Subway in Orange County, Fla. — side note: Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — after refusing to put ketchup on a cheesesteak ordered by Luis Martinez, pictured at right. Then Ordone kicked over a chair and tried to fight him.

It's almost never a good thing for a stripper to make the news. The last 24 hours — which has seen strippers hospitalized, arrested and fired — has proven at least that much.

Frank Ocean's response to being busted for speeding and possession? He drives an M3 and likes weed.

Joe Biden, your slightly creepy yet enchanting uncle, welcomed a host of new (and returning) senators to the Capitol today, and boy, was he happy to be the center of attention. If you've ever wanted to understand the type of personality it takes to be a lifelong politician, please consult the above video of Biden's epic schmoozing, compiled by TPM. Joe Biden, everybody. What a professional.

Returning to his Astoria, Oregon, home after a busy day of driving drunk, sideswiping cars, and fleeing the scene, 18-year-old Jacob Cox-Brown couldn't wait to let all his Facebook friends know what he'd been up to.

Last spring, horses everywhere neighed a sigh of relief when production was cancelled on HBO's horse-racing drama Luck, after three gambling-addicted horses died on set.

30 Rock's final episode will feature a very special guest star: Rachel Dratch. Just kidding, it's Nancy Pelosi.

Everyday that a new song by British duo Alunageorge surfaces, it is the song of the day. "Your Drums, Your Love" was one of 2012's very best, and these the R&B retro-futurists are among the most exciting people working within the genre on the planet. This thing just zooms. Thrilling.