Wow, LADIES, time for an emergency meeting of the LADIES because there has been a huge development in our sex's perpetual race to/fight against bang adoption: Michelle Obama now has BANGS.

Today is a very good day to be New York Police Department Commissioner Ray Kelly. A new poll puts his approval rating at 75 percent, the highest yet. It is also a good day to be a criminal in New York City; 2012 saw a significant spike in the crime rate.

At the time of writing there is just one comment underneath Annie Leibovitz's Hurricane Sandy-themed photoshoot for Vogue magazine: "this is tacky and tasteless."

James Deen diplomatically discusses working with Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons. He's so affable. People's porno champ.

An NYU student claims to have the worst roommate ever: a four-year-old.

Highway Patrol troopers say a dog is to blame for a man's death in a bizarre car accident that took place earlier this week.

Everyone was tricked into reading about sports yesterday, after the inspirational story of one college football star suddenly became so riddled with holes, plot twists, and BIG REVEALS, it would not have felt out of place as a character arc on Gossip Girl: Season 2.

The House Republicans are holding their annual winter retreat in quaint tourist village Williamsburg, Virginia, this weekend in order to recuperate and prepare for upcoming legislative battles. Besides partaking in discussions about the debt ceiling and gun restrictions, GOP congressmen and women will also be getting schooled in the fine art of how to have "successful communication with minorities and women."

In America we are all endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of conspiracy theory. In America we are all free. A new study, from Fairleigh Dickinson University, has found 63 percent of registered voters in the U.S. believe at least one political conspiracy theory. That is three in five people.

The state of Mississippi ranks 50th in the average salary it pays its public school teachers. There's also, you know, the deep history of poverty and racism and deprivation. So perhaps it is no surprise that Mississippi's public schools are exceedingly quick to arrest students for the most trifling violations.

A woman in Washington is being accused of becoming the latest femme fatale to use her lethal weapons literally.

The powers that be at American Idol want us to think that Mariah Carey and Nicki were at each other's throats from the get go, in one of the most ostentatious diva battles pop culture has ever witnessed. Footage from the relatively harmonious first day of filming (when Mariah wore this) was moved to the end of last night's Season 12 premiere to make way for the subsequent bickering that happened as the divas got more comfortable with each other and/or were told by producers to ramp up the animosity. (The first hour of footage that was aired, by the way, was described as the first day of filming.)

A rare shooting incident in a "quiet Malibu canyon enclave" took an even more bizarre turn when it was revealed today that man who allegedly pulled the trigger is Patrick Leach — the 27-year-old son of Barney & Friends creator Sheryl Leach.

This has been a fantastic week for media outrage, especially on Twitter. On Monday, a pro-Scientology ad in the Atlantic that was mocked up to faintly resemble an article generated hours of castigating tweets and countless op-eds. Then, last night, Deadspin broke the story of Notre Dame star linebacker Manti Te'o and the girlfriend who doesn't exist.

Though the inimitable Dorothy Parker once claimed, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses," times, they have changed. These days there is nary a fella out there who would balk at putting the moves on some bespectacled nerd-babe. In fact, it's pretty much safe to safe to say, that being "adorkable" is now considered a compliment.

As Boeing scrambles to figure out why the lithium-ion batteries in their 787 Dreamliners keep starting fires, the residents of Japan already know exactly who the culprit is.

Were you one of those people who was always up in the grocery store with your husband or whatever saying "No dear trust me this POM juice is definitely worth $69.99 for this eight-ounce serving because, honey, listen, it is so amazing for your health, I read about it, trust me." WERE YOU? Well, you were wrong, unsurprisingly, and now the whole world will know about it.

Since the first scintillating promo photos for man-boy director Harmony Korine's latest envelope-bender Spring Breakers emerged last year, they have been spotted around the net shopped with a variety of superimposed Disney logos.

By now you may have heard the story of an American software developer who scammed several companies by forwarding a fraction of his six-figure salary to a Chinese company that was doing his work for him while he sat in his office surfing Reddit and watching cat videos.

Former NYC public advocate Betsy Gotbaum will not endorse her stepson for public advocate. Ugh, you're not my real mom.