After finding themselves without a date to their cousin's wedding in Saratoga — and after being told that bringing dates was "mandatory" in order to keep them from "harass[ing] all of [the bride's] friends all night" — two brothers who self-identify as "born and bred Craigslisters" did what came natural to them: They took to the "activity partners" section of Craiglist to solicit wedding companions.

Outspoken sonic collagist/"Paper Planes" sing-songer/truffle fries enthusiast M.I.A. is alleging that the Grammys ripped off a recent stage set of hers. On Twitter, she proclaimed, "IM KEEPING A STEAL LOG THIS YEAR HERE THE ONE FOR JAN / FEB >MIA $500 : GRAMMYS $5000000."

Authorities in St. Lucie County, Florida, arrested a man earlier this week after he posted photos on Facebook showing him manhandling a manatee calf he spotted in Taylor Creek.

A devout member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster had the cops called on him by employees at a Dayton, New Jersey, Motor Vehicle Commission facility after he demanded to be allowed to wear a pasta strainer on his head for his driver's license photo.

Disco-nerd alert: Legend Giorgio Moroder's "first-ever live DJ set" will be part of May's NYC Red Bull Music Academy.

Turns out Office Depot and OfficeMax WERE two different companies but they're merging now so it doesn't matter.

Pete Domenici, the retired New Mexico senator, announced to the Albuquerque Journal today that he fathered a son out of wedlock more than 30 years ago, keeping the child's existence and identity a secret at the behest of its mother, Michelle Laxalt. Who herself happens to be the daughter of another Senator—Nevada Republican Paul Laxalt.

Last week, Breitbart.com Editor-at-Large Ben Shapiro, citing Senate sources, claimed that "one of the reasons that President Barack Obama's nominee for Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, has not turned over requested documents on his sources of foreign funding is that one of the names listed is a group purportedly called 'Friends of Hamas.'"

Worse still, Anna Lamb-Creasey says it took three weeks for her to happen across the notice, because it was automatically filtered into Facebook's "other messages" folder.

At last, the unattainable glamour of the mailman is within your sweaty grasp: the U.S. Postal Service announced Tuesday plans to release a fashion line for men. (Estimated delivery date for a women's line: unknown.)

Jesse Jackson, Jr. pleaded guilty today to misusing more than $750,000 in campaign funds. He will probably go to jail.

Last night Gawker received a tip from a person claiming to be friends with the graphic designer allegedly responsible for the Internet's new favorite thing: The fake Guy Fieri menu currently parked at GuysAmericanKitchenAndBar.com.

The preview for Ke$ha's MTV reality show features her fellating a cannoli. Already more revealing than Beyoncé.

New York City Michael "Mayor Mike" Bloomberg, the 20th richest human in the world, said this yesterday about his administration's policy of requiring single adults "to prove they have no other alternatives when they are seeking access to a homeless shelter," and of barring homeless families and children from city shelters during freezing weather "if officials determine they have an alternative place to sleep:"

You don't need a weatherman to know that enduring 8 g is going to make the average person pass out, but Grant Denyer decided to demonstrate anyway.

As part of an ongoing project, we've written letters to U.S. death row inmates who are scheduled for execution this year. We asked them about their lives and about their thoughts on various issues. Today, we received a reply from Britt Ripkowski, who is awaiting execution in Texas for multiple murders.

An Oklahoma man who was found dead in his kitchen is suspected to have died as a result of spontaneous human combustion.

Florida Atlantic University's football stadium will be named after GEO Group, which runs private prisons. Appropriate.

A huge natural gas explosion—"like an earthquake," one witness said—burned a Kansas City restaurant to the ground yesterday evening, injuring 16, some critically, and leaving one person unaccounted for. Authorities believe a contractor working near JJ's Restaurant, a three-decade institution overlooking Kansas City's iconic Country Club Plaza, hit a natural gas line, and people reported a strong odor of gas in the area—so strong JJ's employees cancelled reservations, shut down the kitchen, and asked patrons to leave the restaurant—hours before the 6 p.m. explosion shattered nearby windows and sent shockwaves nearly a mile through the city. One woman is still missing, and Kansas City police are using cadaver dogs to search for her. Some 100 fire fighters responded to the four-alarm fire; it was under control by 8 p.m. [Kansas City Star | KCTV]

Master schmoozer Joe Biden took part in something called a "Facebook town hall" hosted by Parents Magazine earlier today. Biden was there, presumably, to talk about parenting advice, but, as tends to happen these days on Facebook (if, like me, you're from the South), the conversation turned to gun laws. One of the town hall's participants asked Biden if President Obama's gun control package, which contains proposals to ban military-style assault weapons and high-capacity gun magazines, would make law-abiding citizens "more of a target for criminals as [they] will have no way to sufficiently defend [themselves]."