Male nurses make more money than female nurses. That one's gonna sting.

A woman who had her diamond engagement ring returned to her by a homeless man after she accidentally dropped it in his change cup says she likes the ring even more now.

Last week, Gawker posted a job listing seeking applicants for a reporter position. Among the responses was a letter from Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex Bejerstrand, two under-employed roommates living in Nybro, Sweden. In addition to inquiring after work, Hjalmar and Alex provided samples of their artwork and requested several photos of the Gawker offices. We supplied them with the requested photos and encouraged them to pitch us ideas. Below is their response. Below that is an email from me to Hjalmar and Alex laying out their first assignment: A post assessing the controversy over the Onion's "cunt" tweet about Quvenzhané Wallis. We have reproduced Hjalmar and Alex's email without correcting grammar or punctuation.

As we spend the day arguing over a satirical tweet about a Hollywood awards show, more than 12 million Americans remain unemployed. Millions more have dropped out of the labor force entirely. The upcoming sequester deal could cause sharp cuts in unemployment benefits. Each week, we bring you true stories of unemployment, from the unemployed themselves. This is what's happening out there.

When 70-year-old James "Jimmy" McConnell passed away last month at a care home in Southsea, Hampshire, he left behind no known family members.

Kanye West concluded his Sunday concert at London's Hammersmith Apollo by repeatedly howling, so you know it was a great show. He was performing 2006's formerly breezy single "Touch the Sky" when he unleashed and then threw down his mic. Apparently, this made as little sense within context as it does without. Says GQ UK:

For a few days each year, Texans of the furry persuasion head down to the Crowne Plaza North Dallas-Addison to let their fur flag fly at the annual Furry Fiesta fandom convention.

Seth MacFarlane was not a very good Oscar host. But you know who liked him a ton? New Elitist Charles Murray. Yes homo.

Was anyone even surprised when Kristen Stewart showed up to last night's Oscars ceremony hobbling on crutches, looking disheveled as all get out? Bedraggled disarray is just her natural state. Of course Charlize Theron wore Dior. Of course Kristen Stewart's arms were covered in mysterious bruises.

Brandon Stanton is a street photographer who has made a name for himself snapping shots of New York City's inhabitants for a "photographic census" he calls "Humans of New York."

Another person was struck by an oncoming train this morning, making this the eighth subway-related injury in six days.

In much the same way that countless volumes could be composed in ode to the beauty of a single snowflake, countless words could be written about one single Lena Dunham tweet. Well, not countless: 1,139 words.

Plucky actress Jennifer Lawrence is now Academy Award-winning plucky actress Jennifer Lawrence and her irreverent, straight-talkin' routine was on full display in the Oscars' press room last night. She announced to the room that she took a shot and then got jokingly belligerent (in her "hey idiots" kinda way) when a journalist asked her about tripping en route to accept her trophy for Best Actress. "Was that on purpose? Absolutely," said Lawrence. "What do you mean, 'What happened?' Look at my dress." Idiot.

Swedish meatball purveyor Ikea confirmed this morning that it was the latest in an ever-increasing number of European companies to get caught up in the continent's horse meat scandal.

Ever since you were a little kid, you loved animals. Cats, dogs, other animals: you just loved them. Petted them and everything, real nice. You always dreamed, since you were a little kid, of growing up and working with animals every single day. You love the pretty animals, and you want to help them. Even when you were five years old, you knew that one day, you would grow up and become a veterinarian.

Jimmy Kimmel's Movie: The Movie movie parody trailer has been viewed over 20 million times on YouTube since its debut following last year's oscars.

At this point there's no question that Seth MacFarlane was a terrible Oscar host. Not only were his jokes unfunny, tired, self-centered and boring, but also incredibly sexist, homophobic and racist. Boob jokes. Diet jokes. "No homo" jokes. Rape jokes. Abuse jokes. Slave jokes. Jew jokes. And to add to the atrocity, the whole act was punctuated by MacFarlane's absurd preoccupation with whether or not he was a good host, which—as mentioned—he clearly was not. So perhaps he was right in asking "what did you expect?"

Michelle Obama, the First Lady of the United States, appeared live via satellite at the Academy Awards on Sunday night to announce that Ben Affleck's CIA-in-Iran romp Argo had won the Best Picture Oscar. Yes, that Michelle Obama, the wife of the commander in chief, surrounded by service members in shiny full dress uniforms, bantering with Jack Nicholson and celebrating a movie that itself celebrates a successful collaboration between America's film industry and its intelligence industry. It would be nice to say that the her appearance at the tail end of the bizarre, seemingly interminable awards show was the most tasteless thing about it (imagine Lyudmila Putin declaring as "best picture" a fictional rendition of an SVR operation in Georgia), but then, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane was the host, which meant three hours of cloying, self-centered jokes, as rote and joyless as as they were sexist and homophobic, punctuated by an extended and inexplicable "celebration" of three musicals from the last decade. Really the most embarrassing thing about Michelle Obama's appearance is that it's this film industry she's ceremonially acknowledging as an extension of American imperial power, and not one that could, say, put on an entertaining three-hour award show.

Oscars host Seth MacFarlane closed out the show alongside proud pipsqueak Kristin Chenoweth with an original musical number dedicated to the night's losers. Since it was dreadful (and murmured as if MacFarlane and Chenoweth knew to be embarrassed), we can do better. Here's a proper ode to the losers: the exact moment that the nominees lost (and one won) looped for eternity. (This an update to this post of the losers throughout the years that I put together last year.) This is the reason that the animated gif was invented.

There was a gruesome scene Sunday morning in Manhattan's Chinatown after a man attacked his wife with a meat cleaver, causing critical injuries before nearby firefighters came to the woman's rescue. The unidentified 28-year-old attacker was pulling his wife down a busy street when two New York City firefighters, Jose Ortiz and James Trainor, spotted the pair from their firehouse and attempted to intervene.