Kim Millbrook, a federal prisoner, claims he was sodomized and beaten by prison guards in 2010. He sued the federal government, acting as his own attorney, under the Federal Tort Claims Act. After losing in lower courts—the federal government, they held, can only be liable for the acts of law enforcement officers when those acts are carried out in the course of performing arrests or executing searches, as opposed to just arbitrarily sodomizing inmates—Millbrook wrote out a handwritten petition to the Supreme Court demanding that it hear his case (a copy is here; the image above is from his initial complaint). It did. This morning, with the help of a court-appointed attorney, he won.

Philip "Phil" Penny stars as a Situation knock-off in Ireland's "drink-sodden" answer to Jersey Shore, Tallafornia.

This 2006 economy is heating up fast! It's not just the record stock market highs and the M&A boom and the rapid growth of incomes in the top 1% and hedge fund guys buying $155 million paintings—home prices are on the rise again. Everywhere! From the WSJ:

When Jennifer Maldonado opted out of her office's lottery pool, she figured it was no big deal.

According to a Gallup poll, the city with the best well-being in all of America is Lincoln, Nebraska. With a proud composite score of 72.8 on Gallup's well-being index, Lincoln beat out the perhaps more natural choice of sunny destination city Boulder, Colorado by one-tenth of a point. Another mountain gem Burlington, Vermont followed close behind. Lincoln, on the other hand, was originally settled because of proximate salt flats and marshes.

Spring is in the air. The birds are birding. The bees are abuzz. And somewhere out in America's dusty far reaches, a red-faced college administrator is trying to censor a rather tame "Sex Issue" of a college newspaper.

Mad Men star Jon Hamm is furious about being treated like a walking wang.

In his first public speech since he stepped down, former CIA director David Petraeus apologized for the extramarital affair that led to his departure. "I regret—and apologize for—the circumstances that led to my resignation from the CIA and caused such pain for my family, friends and supporters," he told the audience of 600, including his wife and many decorated veterans, at the University of Southern California's annual ROTC dinner.

Jose Martinez's lawyer says it took the quadriplegic man three hours to medically stabilize after he was left stranded on Disneyland's infamous "It's A Small World" ride, with the ride's equally infamous theme song blaring in the background the entire time.

While chasing an illegal dirt bike in the Bronx, an NYPD car killed one man and injured another. Jalopnik reports here.

A massive sinkhole apparently brought on by heavy rain opened up in Shezhen, China, swallowing a security guard alive and causing nearby residents to evacuate. Yang Jiabin, 25, was walking in the Futian district near new construction yesterday afternoon when the ground gave way beneath him, opening into a 26 foot-wide, 52 foot-deep crater; despite the quick arrival of rescue workers, he reportedly died on-scene. The incident was capture on two closed-circuit TV cameras, and video was quickly uploaded to the Chinese sharing site Youku:

Early Tuesday evening, a teenager celebrating his 18th birthday was hit and killed by subway train on Manhattan's Upper West Side as he and his two friends attempted to cross the tracks. One friend made it across while the other still hadn't left the other platform. According to the New York Daily News, both surviving teens saw the train hit their friend, their knees buckling at the sight.

The cross-dressing, show-tunes-loving Connecticut priest busted for selling meth from a sex shop will plead guilty.

Judge Judy is the hissing 70-year-old arbitrator atop the long-running TV show of the same name. Her son, on the other hand, is still a real lawyer, and he's currently embroiled in a very public scandal his mother's tough talk—and reported $40 million annual salary—can't alleviate.

The FBI is investigating the "suspicious" death of a 62-year-old woman aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise ship.

British actor Clive Mantle, best known stateside for playing Greatjon Umber on HBO's Game of Thrones, was brutally attacked by two men outside a hotel early Sunday morning in Newcastle, England. The incident occurred after the six-foot, five-inch actor asked fellow guests at a Travelodge to keep the noise down. The two rambunctious guests disagreed with Mantle and, rather than quieting down, decided instead to bite the actor's ear off.

Have you ever watched a movie in which an inanimate object comes to life or a human being switches bodies with an animal and thought to yourself "I wonder what it would be like if that actually happened?"

Everybody knows the rules of binge drinking and bro-habitating: When you pass out anywhere beside your bed after a night of beer bongs and body shots and yelling at sports, you are fair game for a variety of pranks. You may wake up surrounded by stupidly placed bananas, or with cigarettes up your nose, or bearing a crude map of pee-pees all over your forehead. This is just the way it is.

Last month Esquire reporter Phil Bronstein scored a major scoop: An exclusive story about the "man who shot and killed bin Laden." The piece was a powerfully written profile of the anonymous member of SEAL Team 6, now retired and struggling to make ends meet while dealing with the psychological and physical scars of war. But problems with the story's claim that "The Shooter" had no access to health care arose almost immediately. Now it seems the core of the story is wrong as well.

In 1997, Kirsten Dunst lost to Joseph "Joey" Gordon-Levitt on teen Celebrity Jeopardy! They both performed abysmally.