Dilbert Coreas could hook you up with a pony for $70 an hour, a bouncy house with a water-slide for $115 an entire day. The Florida-based kids' party planner could get you a hot-dog cabinet, a popcorn machine, or a cotton-candy maker for only $60 a piece. And if you needed something a little less family-friendly, he might be able to find that too: According to the Feds, Coreas not only was affiliated with the small business It'z A Kidz World, but also allegedly the transnational gang MS-13.

Remember the mid-nineties, when Americans thought that the dollar was on a dangerous free fall and the only secure investment was Beanie Babies? That was crazy, but we all learned a lot. We learned that the only secure investment is nickels.

The highlight of this week's hate mail is a defense of Ryan Lochte, claiming that he is both funny and not a "douchbag" (sic). And we received more of my favorite category of Gawker correspondence—in which readers continue to think we are some sort of fashionable restaurant.

Lambda Theta Delta, UC Irvine oldest and largest Asian-American fraternity, has found itself the source of the latest scandal involving the employment of blackface by non-black college students.

The idea that there are no new ideas is an old idea, but a true one; there are no new ideas. For confirmation, look no further than the state of horror movies–remakes and a bunch of found-footage clones (in which the camera is part of the story, characters are doing the filming and the movie is supposedly assembled from what they shot) abound. The last notable major horror release was a reboot of Evil Dead, and the only standing franchise that provides a serious box office threat is Paranormal Activity. There were no real horror remakes to be found at the Tribeca Film Festival, but almost half of TFF's horror features (three movies out of eight) are found footage. All three account for the staleness of the subgenre, attempting to cut what is now a seemingly endless loop of POV clichés on top of tropes that date back even further. (Would you like a jump scare? OK, here are two dozen.) However, only one of them truly transcends the format's trappings.

Margot Woelk now admits she spent two and a half years as Adolf Hitler's personal poison-detector. While other Germans subsisted on bland rations, she sampled the Führer's fresh vegetables and pastas in succulent sauces. Easy gig, if you didn't mind the constant chance of death, or the cascade of horrors that went with the falling Reich.

Almost 12 years after 9/11, someone in New York found what appears to be a piece of a plane wedged between two buildings near Ground Zero.

Wow, Kristen Wiig is coming back to SNL! (To host it.) Try this classic "gotcha!" style of news delivery on all your friends.

The thing about Kathie Lee Gifford doing “something nice” for you is that it’s the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you. It’s like a person with bright red paint on their shoes breaking in through a plate glass window to sweep your kitchen floor. It’s like a monster truck giving you a surprise haircut while you sleep.

Not even The Onion could make up a more Florida story than the real-life misadventures of one William Daniel Lloyd, AKA Florida Man.

Here's something you won't see on Gawker very often: Andrew Breitbart was somewhat right.

Since 1993’s Battle of Mogadishu (the disastrous U.S. Army operation fictionalized in the 2001 film Black Hawk Down), the United States has avoided a heavy military presence in Somalia. Instead, three successive administrations have preferred to use the CIA and the military’s Special Operations Command to fund and train Somali warlords, neighboring belligerents like Kenya, and private militias to fight Islamic radicalism and to destabilize any provisional government that might threaten Western mineral interests. The United States has been one of the main sources of instability in what Roger Carstens, the star and producer of a new documentary called The Project, calls “the most fucked-up country on Earth.” It is perhaps the vilest film of the year.

"When you see the headline 'Courageous Senators Stand Up to American People' or 'Facebook Unveils New Waste of Time,' you know you’re reading Andy Borowitz." Can't argue with that.

Four members of a Chilean cult were arrested yesterday for allegedly participating in the ritual sacrifice of a three-day-old baby.

Billionaire Marc Lasry made a number of friends during his time as cofounder and CEO of the hedge fund Avenue Capital Group. In fact, it was his close buddy Bill Clinton who let it slip that Lasry was President Obama's top choice for ambassador to France. A token of Obama's appreciation for helping to raise nearly $1 million for his re-election, perhaps?

For those of you who wondered how George W. Bush learned to paint his thought-provoking outsider art, the secret was revealed by Laura Bush on NPR's "Morning Edition" today: "an app on his iPad where he could draw pictures".

Well that didn't last long. After the Federal Aviation Association reported that the automatic budget cuts related to the sequester forced them to furlough air traffic controllers, the house has voted to de-sequester the sequester.

An upscale supermarket chain in the UK has been ordered by the country's Food Standards Agency to recall all 350g house-brand bags of Wholehearted Roasted Monkey Nuts because the packaging failed to properly note that the product contained nuts.

The week started out with a police blotter item about a girl being chased around a Colorado ski resort by mushroom-hungry giraffes, so it only stands to reason that it should end with a police blotter item about a Wisconsin Rapids woman who called the cops to complain that her neighbor's kittens "were having sex in her yard."

You may have seen this floating around online: A "4th grade Science Quiz" attributed to a "private religious school in South Carolina" that rewards students for answering "false" to statements such as "the earth is billions of years old" and "dinosaurs lived millions of years ago."