"I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay." With those words, published in this week's Sports Illustrated, 12-year pro-basketball veteran Jason Collins just became the "first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport."

When Beltway bright-boy David Petraeus left public service in disgrace last year, Buzzfeed reporter Michael Hastings threw down a gauntlet, detailing how his industry had gone soft on the ex-general for too long. This morning, Hastings' boss at Buzzfeed picked up that gauntlet and took a long, sugary piss in it.

A young couple from Sacramento who sought a second medical opinion concerning the health of their baby boy have had the child taken from them by police after the first hospital complained that the parents were putting the infant's life in danger.

Amanda Palmer, the worst poet in all of human history, has, for maybe the first time in her life, written something correct. In an open letter to ex-frontman Morrissey, published on Salon, she suggests that he should "crowdfund" his next album:

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Mondays are bad news. So are Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, as a matter of fact, but we'll get to them later.

Tim Tebow [FAMOUS ATHLETE] has been fired from the New York Jets [FAMOUS SPORTS TEAM]. He simply did not make enough of the touchscores in the ball games, and coach Rex Ryan released him after drafting West Virginia's Geno Smith.

Kelly Nash, who covers the Tampa Bay Rays for Fox's Sun Sports, was in Boston Saturday for the Astros-Red Sox game, and decided to pass the time during batting practice by taking a few selfies around Fenway Park.

An attacker stabbed four members of a church choir in Albuquerque today, rushing in as the choir began their closing hymns and shouting "Fake preacher!" before stabbing the victims.

President Obama has named Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx as his transportation secretary.

Over 40 people, and this one woman who looks just like Lindsay Lohan, were injured after an apparent natural-gas explosion rocked central Prague on Monday, causing the evacuation of several nearby buildings. Only four were seriously hurt in the blast, and there are no reports of fatalities.

A fire broke out at the collapsed factory building in Bangladesh, hampering rescue efforts. The death toll for the disaster currently stands at 377 and is expected to rise. The building's owner was arrested on Sunday.

In order to gain access to Afghan president Hamid Karzai's inner circle, the CIA secretly sent tens of millions of dollars to Karzai's office for over a decade. The money, all straight cash, of course, was delivered approximately every month and was packed in suitcases, backpacks, and plastic bags.

On Sunday, Christian Caryl from The New York Review of Books caught up with "Misha," the man accused by the Tsarnaev family of influencing Tamerlan Tsarnaev's conversion to a more radicalized form of Islam. Caryl met “Misha,” whose real name is Mikhail Allakhverdov, outside of Allakhverdov's home in Rhode Island.

Looks like he wasn't too worried about the criticism he received for Jay-Z's recent trip to Cuba.

The surviving members of the Beastie Boys have signed a deal to write a memoir. The New York Times reports the book, which is scheduled to be released in fall 2015, will be “loosely structured as an oral history.”

At least three people were killed and another 14 were injured on Sunday after an explosion destroyed part of an apartment building in Reims, France. The five-story building partly collapsed after the blast, which witnesses described as powerful.

A psychiatric hospital in Nevada is under investigation for allegedly busing more than 1,500 patients out of the state over the last five years. Patients discharged from the Rawson-Neal Hospital were routinely sent away on Greyhound buses to every state in the US with no supervision, advance notice, or future treatment plans.

He's not always your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

In today's Did I Just Read That Correctly news, Mike Tyson once broke up with a woman because she killed one of his pigeons, cooked it, and ate it. "It just wasn't the right thing to do," Tyson told reporters. "That's why she's not my woman anymore."