What's happening on Chinese social media? This is what's happening on Chinese social media: "A video clip titled 'Woman poops in elevator in Shenzhen subway' has gone viral on Chinese social media."
Filmmaker Zhang Yimou, who produced the over-the-top pageant of China's national glories for the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony, is being investigated by family-planning officials for siring an excessive number of offspring—"up to seven children with four women." Apparently Raise the Red Lantern was autobiographical. Fines could approach $27 million.
After they took a primary role in making the 2008 global economic meltdown happen, Wall Street's biggest banks listened to their PR advisors and practiced "humility" for a little while. (This means that they continued operating the same way, but sent out a memo instructing employees not to be brash about it.) But now, the stock market is booming again, we're living 2006 all over again, and the big banks have had enough of being pushed around by government regulators who might like to avoid the next huge financial meltdown.
At this point even a casual observer would be forced to deduce that CNN was doing dumb shit just to get a rise out of Jon Stewart.
Cleveland police have found, inside the house where he is alleged to have kept at least three young women captive for ten years, a 2004 letter written by Ariel Castro, 19 Action News' Scott Taylor reports. "I don't know why I kept looking for another," Castro writes in the letter. "I already had 2 in my possession."
The day after it was announced that the interim head of the CIA's National Clandestine Service had been passed over for the full time position because of her connections to the agency's controversial interrogation program, her successor was reportedly outed on Twitter by former Washington Post assistant editor John Dinges and then confirmed by veteran intelligence reporter Jeff Stein. According to Dinges, the new head of the program will be Francis “Frank” Archibald, a former station chief in Latin America.
Texas Congressman Steve Stockman, a man who fantasizes about armed fetuses shooting their way out of the womb and believes that oil and gas are the best things to come from the earth, is hosting a fun giveaway. But what for? Tickets to a Spurs game or a maybe a concert? No, of course not. Through a contest on his website, the representative of Texas' 36th district will reward some lucky winner with a free, brand new AR-15 assault rifle.
Ho-lee balls. Looks like some shit is about to hit the motherfucking fan in the ritzy Brentwood district of Los Angeles where some motherfuckers—who shall remain nameless but we all know who they are because their tremendous gate, a thousand feet (9 ft) tall, looms over our lives, blocking out the sun and giving our children rickets—have decided that the gate height regulations that have sustained peace in Brentwood area for millennia just don’t apply to them. Some people, with their rockstar husbands and their children named after common grocery store food items, have determined that the six feet of privacy offered by standard gates is unsuitable to their needs. FUCK IT, we’re talking about Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow is running for mayor of Bitchville as the nominee on the Gate Is Too Damn High ticket.
Fed up with being given yet another unimaginative packet of worksheets to mindlessly fill out in lieu of an actual lesson, one high school student from Duncanville, Texas, tells his teacher as much, and is kicked out for it.
What is up, generations of bemused and confused observers have asked, with Donald Trump's hair? The television clown and serially bankrupt business mogul sports a peculiar, swirling spun-sugar-colored confection on top of his head. It is clearly an elaborate work of artifice, designed to confound the eye.
God's Love We Deliver, a nonprofit that delivers meals to sick and homebound people, will double the size of their Soho headquarters this summer. In order to fund their expansion without relocating, they sold $4 million of their air rights to a development company that is building a 14-story building next door. With the nonprofit doubling in size and the new condo widening because of newly-purchased air rights, Soho neighbors are protesting both the legality of the sale as well as the possible detrimental effects they say the buildings will have on the neighborhood.
At the Benghazi hearings being held today in Washington, prominent Republicans and witnesses are criticizing the Obama administration's response to last year's attack on the U.S. diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya. The attack on the compound last year on September 11, killed four Americans, including Ambassador Christopher Stevens.
In the new based-on-a-true-story film from Precious director Lee Daniels (also of Nicole Kidman/Zac Efron Pee Movie fame), Oprah Winfrey plays Gloria Gaines, wife of Cecil Gaines, a fictional White House butler whose real life counterpart, Eugene Allen, worked through the terms of eight U.S. Presidents from 1952 to 1986. The film is called The Butler. Forrest Whitaker plays the butler.
