In the aftermath of recent revelations concerning a top secret government surveillance program aimed at monitoring the personal and private interactions of mostly innocent civilians, many Americans are naturally concerned with what the future might hold for a country being run by an All-Seeing Eye.

The British royal family's waking nightmare Pippa Middleton proved once again last week that you can take the girl out of the color coordinated party supply business but you can't remove her hands from the ass of her lover, because they have been firmly attached there with rubber cement. Photographs have surfaced of the younger, bronzer Middleton grabbing the butt of her boyfriend, banker Nico Jackson, in front of some car in London. Just on the street. Just Pippa grabbing butts on the street.

The latest production from the Lonely Island employs dance pop beacon of starlight, Robyn, to hypnotize audiences into finding amusement in literal humor, once again! Sean Combs and Paul Rudd stand-in for the everyman.

Late last week, Facebook announced that it would be reworking the set of various formats it offers to advertisers, to "simplify" its ad offerings. Among the changes, Ad Age reported, will be the end of a product called "sponsored stories" (although a Facebook executive said the stories would survive "as an idea"). Wired wrote that the changes will make it so that "every ad is automatically retrofitted with a social component."

Two people were hospitalized this morning after being shot near Santa Monica College, the same area where a man went on a shooting rampage last week, murdering five before being killed by police.

Police in Utah say a St. George man charged with raping his unconscious neighbor claimed he put his penis inside her to "save her life."

Lindsay Mills, the 28-year-old pole-dancing acrobat Edward Snowden left to become an internationally-renowned leaker, posted many self-portraits on her (now-shutdown) blog. One is her wearing the hacktivist collective Anonymous' trademark (well, technically, Time Warner's trademark) Guy Fawkes mask.

In the past week, we've witnessed the post-9/11 era's most comprehensive set of stories about the extent of the U.S. government's secret domestic spying programs. It's front page news worldwide. It's sparked a national debate over privacy and security. And some of our nation's most useless political pundits could not be more bored.

When life imitates Chappelle's Show you know it's high time we all took a serious step back.

After spending hours on a hot Las Vegas tarmac with no A/C, food, or water (which may not be entirely legal), passengers aboard a Phoenix-bound Allegiant Air flight decided to kick start the plane by breaking out in a spirited rendition of R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly."

It's kind of a low bar, but this is almost definitely the most beautiful Excel spreadsheet you will ever behold.

New details have emerged that reveal more about the violent past of John Zawahri, the 23-year-old Santa Monica resident who shot and killed five people on Friday. In what seemed to be a planned attack, Zawahri killed his father and brother, then carjacked a vehicle and forced the driver to take him to the Santa Monica College campus where he shot and killed three others. Zawahri was then shot and killed by the police.

The delicious chemical snack known as "Pirate's Booty" is worth $195 million. Well worth it.

A court in Germany this week was asked to rule on the case of a banker from Hesse who reportedly fell asleep on his keyboard, accidentally transferring millions of the bank's euros to a temporarily lucky customer.

Armed with tear gas, water cannons, and rubber bullets, Turkish police moved in on Taksim Square early Tuesday morning, preparing to clear the area of the anti-government protestors who have occupying it for over a week.

Yesterday, the federal government decided to change its course regarding emergency contraception and uphold a New York judge's ruling that it can be sold to girls at any age without a prescription.

Lindsay Mills, a 28-year-old dancer in Hawaii, is the girlfriend of NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, according to various reports.

A Kentucky man hellbent on destroying a PT Crusier on Sunday accidentally set himself on fire in the process, resulting in damage to at least two other cars and a nearby home.

Canadian astronaut and internet hero Chris Hadfield announced his retirement from the Canadian Space Agency on Monday, ending a 35-year career.