Catherine Kieu, the California woman who cut off her husband's penis and put it in a garbage disposal, was today sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole. She can begin seeking parole in seven years.

Cameron D'Ambrosio spent more than 30 days in jail for a Facebook post. On May 1, the high-school senior from Methuen, Massachusetts was playing hooky when he posted rap lyrics that referenced the Boston Marathon bombing and called the White House a "federal house of horror." His school contacted the local cops, who arrested the kid and charged him with "terroristic threats," a felony punishable for up to 20 years in prison.

Welcome to Annotate This, where we gather reviews, trailers, and annotate the posters for movies coming out this week. It will help you decide what to avoid, what to see, and what to pretend to see. Click on the image above to add your comments to the mix.

Here's the trailer for Larry David's upcoming HBO movie, Clear History. Basically, Larry David's character has a crazy frizzed-out hair-beard combo. He works for Jon Hamm who is sporting a suit, also so wild. Anyways, David's character quits because he thinks Hamm's character is dumb and then he loses out on millions and Hamm is rich and happy and married to Kate Hudson. After a decade of bitterness, David's character launches a madcap revenge plot.

"Maakies" cartoonist Tony Millionaire, or his cartoon alter ego Drinky Crow, has delivered a vivid and much needed denunciation of the gristle-laced food-engineering debacle known as the "drumstick," one of the worst popular items of food, and one of the least appealing offerings from the generally delicious carcass of a chicken.

For months now, a coalition of community and labor activists have been pushing for the (perhaps impossible) dream of unionizing fast food workers in New York City, or at least getting them a living wage. Yesterday, some of those fast food workers pleaded their case to the City Council. Here's something worth remembering before your evening KFC.

Move over, Facebook— researchers say that monkeys have their own form of "social networks!" And look how stupid monkeys are.

In an interview with CNN on the eve of The Carter Center's upcoming human rights forum, former president Jimmy Carter took the opportunity to weigh in about his dear old friend, celebrity racist Paula Deen.

Brandi Passante, one of the professional trash pickers on the A&E faux-reality competition Storage Wars, sued our old pal Hunter Moore last fall after he posted a nude video online of a woman he claimed was the reality star. A California judge finally ruled on the suit after Moore defaulted, awarding the reality star. . . a whopping $750.

The Smithsonian has sent out a press release purporting to update the public on this week's escape of Rusty, a red panda (Ailurus fulgens), from a supposedly secure enclosure at the National Zoo. It is a masterpiece of tautology and obfuscation, designed to conceal the fact that the zookeepers have no idea how an animal with a sub-three-inch brain got away from them.

The Obama administration is making more moves to prevent childhood obesity—a complete overhaul of the munchies and beverages sold outside of school cafeterias. The administration just released a new set of nutrition standards, which means no more cheese curls or sugar water. You can have fruit. A petite granola bar. Light popcorn. Water. Maybe some low fat tortilla chips, but watch that portion size because everything, according to the new standards, must be under 200 calories.

The Main Line. A tony, stony region of suburban Philadelphia where the cricket clubs chirp and the toddlers take Mandarin and the driveways are covered with dead mice and snakes. Just a beautiful, fancy area, full of old money and a few NFL players, and a shit ton of dead mice and snakes. Perfect for raising a family of humans or a family of dead mice and snakes.

Hold on to your rosaries, this is going to get ugly. Don Patrizio Poggi, a parish priest in Rome who served five years for sexually abusing teenage boys, has filed a complaint with Italian police alleging the existence of a Vatican "rent boy" ring.

The U.S. Park Service has its very own police force, consisting of hundreds of officer patrolling national parks and keeping the public safe. Also, they've lost track of more than a thousand deadly weapons. You can't have it all, okay?

Echoing New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly's recent statement on the subject, Mayor Michael Bloomberg said in a radio interview today that, as far as he sees it, blacks and Latinos are actually not being stopped enough under the city's racist stop-and-frisk program.

David Lynch directed a music video for the new Nine Inch Nails song, "Came Back Haunted." In case you want to take my word for it, it's all flashes, shaky cam, forced metaphors, and aggressive flickers. Here's the key image:

Irena Briganti, the Fox News PR assassin known as the media world's most vindictive flack, is quoted in the press all the time. But she's notoriously photo-shy. In fact it's been almost impossible to find a decent picture of her. Until now.

That Bert and Ernie New Yorker cover that the Socialist Left has been gushing about this morning was not conceived overnight, in a sleepless fit of post-DOMA glee. Rather, artist Jack Hunter's image of Sesame Street's most famous same-sex cohabitants dates back to May of 2012.

Cameron Diaz just signed on to play Miss Hannigan in Jay-Z's Annie, after Sandra Bullock dropped out of negotiations. If you've ever wanted to see Cameron Diaz make an orphan cry, now's your chance.

Cher guested on last night's episode of Watch What Happens Live. Unfortunately, she wasn't dressed as a Muppet with a Muppet on top of her head, but nonetheless Andy Cohen ejaculated a steady stream of rainbow facials at her for the duration of their chat.