Most of the time when dads text their teens, it’s to send them cute messages like “Hi this is dad happy 4 the of july.” Sometimes it's an ominous "Call Me Back." Sometimes they send butt texts.

The New York Times supplied a copy of Mark Leibovich's obsessively anticipated study of Washington self-obsession, This Town, to onetime Boston Globe Washington bureau chief David Shribman—who now does something or other in Pennsylvania or maybe Ohio?—and the paper was rewarded with a book review that begins like this:

Last night's episode of Big Brother nabbed the show's highest ratings since its season premiere about two weeks ago. About 6.25 million people watched; the only network show to grab more eyeballs was 60 Minutes.

An ostensibly polite request found posted outside the She & Him concert at last week's Toronto Urban Roots Fest asking attendees not to snap photos or shoot video of the duo was actually pretty aggressive, as some fans who flouted the ban quickly discovered.

After the Great Recession struck, many "Main Street" types of Americans were mad that the entire global economy managed to melt down without resulting in any "Wall Street" types of Americans being thrown in jail. Finally, the law on this point is changing.

Hello little creature, and welcome to the world! This tiny softness, a baby doe, was born at the Queens Zoo (on May 3rd, though the Wildlife Conservation Society just released the announcement). See her in her woodland habitat. She sidles up next to a little branch and then peers out behind some shrubs. Nettles look enormous when this itsy quadruped approaches.

Ed Snowden has been offered asylum in Venezuela. Read the story of one woman's bizarre encounter with Venezuela's oppressive surveillance state.

Lunatic pill-popping closet case—sorry, alleged pill-popping closet case—Rick Perry will not run for re-election as Texas Governor. But we'll always have the—what's the thing? Let's see. That third thing.

A teenager who referenced the Pink song "Timebomb" while on the way to a Pink concert was stopped upon entering at the arena and arrested for posing a threat to the public.

Cruel wake up pranks are nothing new — but this one may be the cruelest of them all.

The Village Voice has hired Tom Finkel as its 6,738th editor, assuming he hasn't quit already.

One of the two passengers killed in Saturday's Asiana Flight 214 crash may have been run over by emergency response vehicles. SF Fire Chief Joanne Hayes-White said the victim, a 16-year-old girl, had trauma consistent with getting run over. An autopsy is now being performed to determine cause of death.

Last week, a California judge ruled that a school district could teach yoga, despite objections from parents that it amounted to promoting an "Eastern religion." Now, one provocative columnist raises an even more alarming yoga issue: godless Western atheists are sullying yoga's holiness, by doing it (yoga).

If you have always wanted to have a confusing four word conversation with Jay-Z while he laughs at you, now is your chance: He is currently responding to fans on Twitter. And laughing at them a lot, via the hashtag #mylaugh. The vibe is kind of weird. Sort of like if you and Jay-Z ran into one another at the grocery store and didn't really have anything to say to one another, but still wanted to talk.

Ellen Grossman, the visual artist who shot to virality when she appeared in Jay-Z's Where I'm From doc late last year, was enlisted by MTV News to share her thoughts on Magna Carta Holy Grail. While reviews of the $5 million data-mining operation have been mixed-to-positive, Grossman has nothing but generous words for it. Even though she has trouble with her hearing, she seems to like what she can hear, and besides, what's really important is that Jay-Z is trying. Says Grossman:

Picture this: You're chilling in the house with Josh and Andre when a scary big-teeth pit bull just walks right in and starts peeing on everything.

In order to draw attention to the brutal treatment of Guantanamo Bay prisoners, Yasiin Bey—the rapper and actor formerly known as Mos Def—voluntarily underwent Gitmo's standard (and incredibly painful) procedure for force-feeding detainees on hunger strike via nasogastric tubes. Warning: The video above is graphic and disturbing.

Elsewhere in Metro Detroit, police were called to a home in Clawson after a neighbor claimed they heard a woman screaming for her boyfriend to stop amid what sounded like a violent altercation.

In an effort to demonstrate just how ridiculous police response times are in Detroit, intrepid Motor City field reporter Charlie LeDuff applied his famous flair for the dramatic an experiment involving an actual report of a serious crime possibly still in progress.

Daniel Ellsberg, the man who gave the Pentagon Papers to the press in 1971, was the most famous government leaker before Edward Snowden. Today, Ellsberg says that Snowden was right to flee America. No shit!