24 years ago, Rick Lookebill was forced to say an untimely goodbye to his beloved 1972 Ford Mustang Mach 1 — the very first car he ever bought.

Bank of America posted a 63% gain in second quarter profits today, making it the fifth big bank to announce huge earnings this week. Fear everything.

A "writhing mass of maggots" was found inside the head of a woman after a fly laid eggs in her ear.

SharkNado's sequel will be set in New York and premiere on SyFy in 2014, because people will definitely still care next year.

Budding actress Emma Roberts, daughter of Eric Roberts (and niece of Julia Roberts), was taken into custody last week in Montreal on suspicion of domestic violence after she allegedly engaged in a physical altercation with her actor boyfriend Evan Peters that reportedly ended in bloodshed.

Here's the trailer for The Fifth Estate, the Wikileaks movie (starring Benedict Cumberbatch as Julian Assange). "Some call him a visionary... some call him a traitor... some call him an irritating prat."

According to the New York Times, Keith Olbermann will return to ESPN later this year. He'll reportedly host a one-hour, nightly show for ESPN2.

Four of the six jurors from the George Zimmerman trial issued a statement Tuesday night, asking for privacy and explaining that the views of Juror B37 were hers alone and not representative of the rest of the jury.

The Cuban Foreign Ministry released a statement Tuesday, admitting ownership of the weapons found aboard a North Korean ship in Panama on Monday. The "obsolete defensive weaponry," which included anti-aircraft guns and two MiG-21 aircraft, was on its way to North Korea for repair, according to the statement.

A 51-year-old California man was arrested in June for attempting to smuggle $128,547 in his socks as he returned to the U.S. after a brief trip to Mexico.

Good news for #FreeJahar supporters: Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev will be on the cover of the August issue of Rolling Stone.

Twelve deaf Starbucks customers in New York City have filed a lawsuit against the Seattle-based coffee company, claiming discrimination. Starbucks employees allegedly mocked the customers multiple times over the course of several years, and once called the police on a monthly meeting of deaf people.

In a #blessed attempt to up his Twitter game, Pope Francis is now granting "time off purgatory" to anyone who follows @Pontifex during Catholic World Youth Day, a week-long event held in Rio de Janeiro.

A new class of debonair Jay Gatsbys has emerged to instant wealth (and, presumably, inevitable tragedy) this week, as the Federal Trade Commission began parceling out $40M in checks to idiotic lazy boneses all over this great land. Office workers; toll booth operators; big boned teen girls with body types that might be described as "athletic" (but not by an athlete)—all of them (509,175 in total) called up their bosses and said "I'm quitting my job because starting today, I am rich!"

A young girl who inspired hundreds of thousands through a series of makeup tutorials posted regularly on YouTube has sadly passed away, her family confirmed this afternoon.

Hot Pockets is "reinventing" its brand to emphasize the "quality of the ingredients." As you laugh about that, consider the fact that consumers bought $640 million worth of Hot Pockets in the past year.

Cory Monteith's official cause of death was a "mixed drug toxicity, involving heroin and alcohol," according to the British Columbia Coroner’s Office. The Glee star was found dead on Saturday in his hotel room in Vancouver. He was 31.

Not every columnist would look at the death of an unarmed 17-year-old black kid, shot after he was racially profiled, as an occasion to write a column about how all black teenagers deserve to be racially profiled. But the Washington Post's Richard Cohen is a very special columnist. The killing of Trayvon Martin, Cohen writes, is

Our favorite of these fantastic Alaskan brown bears in this live feed just caught a salmon after waiting all day. He has wandered out of this frame, but don't worry—there are still four other bears and some rando seagulls waiting for their meals.