Siobhan Riley of Michigan's WJRT must have had men at work on her mind while illustrating the Saginaw roads affected by ongoing construction, because before she knew it, her subconscious had drawn a penis on the touchscreen.

Wal-Mart is trying to get a union's Wal-Mart parody site yanked off the internet, which is a pretty good reason to go peruse it now.

By now you've no doubt seen the video of Jim Mongiat and his wife of 15 months Whitney engaging in a lovers' spat over a cancelled trip to the lake.

"His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge," officially. But in America, which bows to no one, he will be known as The G-Man.

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, who is at the center of a growing scandal concerning some suspect donations to him and his family, is in crisis mode as he tries to convince America he's not a buyable, lying scumbag.

A drowning teen was mere moments away from being rescued when a shark appeared out of nowhere and bit off a chunk of her leg.

The abject Britney Spears-ing of Amanda Bynes rages on today, as the actress enters Day 2 of the 72 hour involuntary psychiatric hold she was placed under after starting a small fire with a gasoline tank in the driveway of an elderly stranger in her hometown of Thousand Oaks Monday night.

Animal NY has found Carlos Danger's first campaign ad.

The New York Times reports that some men are getting serious about what their asses look like: "My wife always joked that I had a flat butt—she called it a 'pancake butt,' Michael said. He consulted with Dr. Adam Schaffner ... who suggested liposuction on his abdomen and injecting the extracted fat into his buttocks."

The collapse of a garment factory in Bangladesh last April— which killed more than 1,000 people— sparked a slew of promises from major retailers to reform their sourcing standards and increase safety. But as it stands today, that doesn't seem to be anywhere near happening.

To promote itself as the number one coffee brand of sleepyheads, Dutch roaster Douwe Egberts installed a very special vending machine in South Africa's O. R. Tambo International Airport that dispenses coffee in exchange for yawns.

A college student who must have just woken up from a pre-birth coma sent a letter to Sub Pop, Nirvana's one-time record label, asking if the band, which broke up following the suicide of its frontman Kurt Cobain, would be so kind as to record a Homecoming Week message for her school.

There's not really anything to say about this except that the little girl is perfect and should never change, and thank God it's Wednesday.

Weary American diners will no longer be forced to laboriously consume two separate foods in order to get the great flavor of chicken and waffles.

Authorities in Tennessee arrested a 72-year-old woman for firing a weapon at a car full of children that was backing into her driveway to turn around.

Way back in the day when Twitter was a bootleg reindeer name, David Rozier invented farting during Mass. A few minutes before we marveled at the six Catholics at Holy Family Catholic School sipping out of one gold goblet, and right after Father Joe suggested we offer each other “a sign of peace,” David tapped me on my shoulder, swung his right arm around his back and farted in his hand. Father Joe rolled his eyes from the pulpit as David proceeded to shake the hands of Ms. Bockman, Ms. Raphael, and all the other sixth-and seventh-graders in our row.

On last night's Conan, guest Aubrey Plaza was asked about the soon-to-be-infamous masturbation scene from her upcoming not-a-romantic-comedy The To-Do List.

What is the "hipster?" What does he or she do, and look like? Where does the hipster lurk? Intrepid journalists have spent years tracking hipsters in their natural habitats of Brooklyn and "the internet." Now, hipsters have been tracked all the way to the frontiers of St. Louis.

Good morning! Two weeks ago, Police Chief Mark Kessler of Gilberton, Pennsylvania uploaded a video with a one-note message: "fuck all you libtards." After backlash, the civic leader uploaded an apology titled "Chief Mark Kessler, I'm Sorry for hurting feelings." Though that was "Sorry" with a capital "S," in this video, he says "fuck" nine times, refuses to apologize, and punctuates his profanity by firing various automatic weapons into the middle distance.