Scientists cannot tell you how many animals there are in the world. But we can tell you something more important: which animals are the best.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Quintuple threat (actress/comedian/musician/tap dancer/awesome person) Charlene deGuzman stars in I Forgot My Phone — a short film she wrote about life in these modern, soul-sucking, smartphone-saturated times.

The Guardian, lately under heavy pressure from the British government, will be teaming up with the New York Times to produce more stories based on Edward Snowden's leaked information about the NSA. Good.

Miguel Vallinas, a photographer based in Madrid, created a marvelous mix of fashion photography and animal close-ups, so that all wondrous creatures of the earth can wear the trendiest attire, and they wear it so much better than you. It's like an alternate universe with swans, gazelles, deers, and donkeys looking all elegant and judgey. Scroll down to gaze upon the most fashionable animals on the planet, starting with the distraught swan who realized that a turtleneck was a childish choice.

The public unveiling of North West wasn't the only thing that made Kanye West's hour-long sit down with his baby's grandmother notable. The whole thing had a the stilted air of an infomercial (missed opportunity: a segment in which the quasi-in-laws vacuum-sealed shit for a segment). Kanye was alternately sedate, engaged, sulking (sometimes he'd go from being engaged to sulking over the course of a single, benign topic), and paranoid about the press. Highlights are above, bullet points are below. Pick your poison.

Sanjay Gupta supports medical marijuana now, but that didn't stop his employer from trying to shut down sales of a new “Sanjay Gupta Kush” strain in Colorado. Why does CNN hate agriculture?

If you're in the TriState area and would like to boat-rave with an Internet troll who's gotten a woman to brush her teeth with poop, tonight's your big chance. Rated R for "ratchet."

Reddit spent a good chunk of yesterday and this morning justifiably ragging on this Samsung ad for featuring "possibly the world's worst actors."

Submitted by Gawker reader Steve Madonna. Thanks, Steve!

Outright racism in America is largely a thing of the past, the Economist writes, because (among other things) "[t]he governor of lily-white Massachusetts is black." Lily-white Massachusetts ranks 26th of 50 states in percentage of black population, and 22nd in percentage of white population.

"Zen" is more than just a random jumble of four [three? check this-ed.] letters. It is a way of seeing the world, like a "Google Glass" made of cloudy opals mined on a frozen sun. What do zen koans mean? Let's explore, together.

Like most children, YouTuber arfmoochikncheez's little girl Scarlett has an annoying habit of crying all the time.

Nidal Hasan, the Army major who killed 13 people in a shooting at Fort Hood in 2009, has been convicted on 13 counts of premeditated murder and 32 counts of attempted murder.

A personal trainer whose blog is dedicated to "droppin' truth bombs" on the lies told by the fitness industry has uploaded a rather remarkable example to her personal Instagram account.

Las Vegas police officers have arrested a high-ranking Scientologist in a bizarre plot—allegedly inspired by right-wing "Sovereign Citizen" beliefs—to kidnap and kill a local law enforcement officer.

New York-based data scientist Aditya Mukerjee admits that his physical appearance regularly ensures that he'll get hassled by airport security, but none of his past experiences with being "randomly selected" could have prepared him for the nightmare that ensued following a standard TSA pat-down earlier this month.

As shown on Kanye's ridiculous, sedated, everyone's-throwing-their-heads-back-and-laughing appearance on Kris Kardashian's talk show, Kris.

In recent weeks, introverts have been receiving a lot of attention on the internet, which they hate. Just kidding—they love attention! Talking about, reading about, and Facebook-sharing about introverts are an introvert’s favorite things to do.

Individuals claiming to be friends with a girl who allegedly had a on-off relationship with X Factor judge Demi Lovato have spent the past week trying to unload what they say are as many as 20 nude photos of the 21-year-old, and could be nearing a deal with gossip blog Celebslam.