So what's Sir Patrick Stewart up to these days? Well, since moving to Park Slope and getting engaged to his 35-year-old singer-songwriter girlfriend Sunny Ozell, it seems he's been spending all of his time getting high in treehouses and teaching his fiancée about the finer points of ACTING.

Fifty years ago today, hundreds of thousands of people gathered in Washington, D.C. to march for the civil and economic rights of African Americans. There, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave what is likely the most famous speech of the 20th century. Here it is in its entirety.

According to a report in Foreign Policy, U.S. intelligence agents intercepted "panicked" phone calls last Wednesday between officials at the Syrian Ministry of Defense and the leaders of a Syrian chemical weapons unit. The calls, along with visual evidence, are the principal reasons the Obama administration believes the Syrian government is responsible for last week's alleged chemical weapon assault against Syrian civilians. Earlier this week, Secretary of State John Kerry called the alleged attacks a "moral obscenity" and President Obama ordered the release of a document justifying a military strike against Syria.

A former high school teacher convicted of raping his 14-year-old student, who would commit suicide three years later, will spend just 30 days in jail. Yellowstone County district judge G. Todd Baugh sentenced Stacey Dean Rambold to 15 years but suspended all but 31 days, in part because Judge Baugh said the 14-year-old victim was “older than her chronological age” and “as much in control of the situation” as Rambold.

Unwilling to let Taco Bell have all the fun with new fast food products, McDonald's announced on Monday that it will sell chicken wings nationwide starting in September. The bone-in wings, which McDonald's calls “Mighty Wings,” will be breaded, fried, and seasoned with cayenne and chili peppers.

An American man was fined $500 Saturday night after he swallowed a beloved human toe belonging to a Canadian bar.

"I wouldn’t take it back ever," Jesse Cottle says, recalling that fateful day in 2009 when he stepped on an IED and blew off both his legs.

Howard Kurtz is losing it. Today the quote-unquote media watchdog published 527 words on FoxNews.com about the Hamptons photo shoot of Ben Bradlee’s daughter-in-law, Pari Bradlee, who apparently teaches yoga to Washington A-listers like Howard Kurtz. It’s not that Pari Bradlee’s precise arrangement of undergarments has nothing to do with the media (though, in fact, it does not); it’s that it has nothing to do with anything. It has no point; it has no angle; it has no news. There is nothing there. Except some boobies. Which, to be fair, is probably all Howard Kurtz is really interested in right now.

Note to Pat Robertson: When your batshit crazy ravings have gotten too batshit crazy for your very own television network, it may be time to dial down the batshit.

Gay married couples are ineligible to receive the same federal veterans benefits afforded to straight couples, according to a letter from the Department of Veterans Affairs. The letter, obtained by the Washington Blade on Tuesday, cites Title 38 of the U.S. Code, which “define[s] 'spouse' and surviving spouse' to refer only to a person of the opposite sex."

Daryl Lane Woods, chairman of Missouri's Main Street Bank and an idiot, has pleaded guilty to using $381K in federal bank bailout funds to buy a condo in Fort Myers, FL, which sucks.

It sucks being a quadriplegic.

Nobody on Vine amuses me more consistently than a 12-year-old girl from Birmingham, Michigan, who goes by the name Lillian Powers. She started posting her absurd, awkward-funny 6-second videos on June 11. In the time since, she has posted 95. I assume this is something of a summer-vacation project. It's been time well spent.

The New York Times is experiencing outages today, and it's looking like the anonymous hacktivists of the Syrian Electronic Army are responsible. Our own Sam Biddle just took the screenshot above when he visited a few minutes ago. And Computer security expert Matt Johansen, manager for the Threat Research Center at WhiteHat Security, noticed that during the outage that the New York Times' website briefly pointed to a Syrian Electronic Army domain.

Two new paintings by former president George W. Bush, published for the first time here on Gawker, give us a new window into the ongoing development of the tortured artist/torture advocate—and opens the possibility for a new phase in his oeuvre: cats.

Analysts say that "Price is the most important factor, ahead of flavor, when purchasing Greek yogurt," which is why America insists upon making the Yogurt Wars a battle between mediocre and sub-par while the real best yogurt languishes on the sidelines, unappreciated, like a creamy, delicious, calcium-packed Tim Tebow.

It's been a long time since the last war in ... where was it, Libya? Libya, yes. A good war. And like the iPhone, we apparently need a new version of this war every two years.

A woman in Pennsylvania is being held without bail after she was charged with callously murdering her baby shortly after giving birth to him in a sports bar bathroom.

Miley Cyrus' jaw-dropping twerk-a-thon at this year's MTV Video Music A-twerks was a twerktacular twerkfest that set off a 24/7 twerk cycle. The news loves twerking, the news is confused by twerking, some people on the news won't twerk, some people say they will but don't.

Broke-ass Pennsylvania capital city Harrisburg plans to sell off its incinerator and lease out all its parking spaces to pay its debts, after its Wild West trinket sale didn't do the trick.