University of Virginia undergrad Otto Warmbier has been sentenced to fifteen years in a North Korean labor camp after copping to an attempted heist of a DPRK propaganda poster. If this sounds like the kind of thing a college kid would try in order to look cool back at UVA, that’s because he says it was.

Plenty of people are chewed up and spit out by American prisons all the time. Few of them are chewed up, spit out, bitten into, swirled around, digested, regurgitated, and eaten yet again quite like Candie Hailey has been in the last several years.

The New York City municipal government would like for the city’s hordes of can collectors to stop collecting cans from curbside garbage. Hey: just let them collect the damn cans.

The Daily Mail has posted a narrative from Nora Crest, a 39-year-old woman who says she spent the majority of her life in the Church of Scientology and was ultimately punished with years of hard labor for kissing a woman by the notoriously homophobic church*. Before that, Crest says she was a “Word Clearer” who worked with noted members of the church like John Travolta (“He was very nice and apologized 20 times for helping him”), and Tom Cruise’s kids Connor and Isabella (“That’s when Tom and Nicole were going through a separation and we were ordered never to speak of her and she was a bad person”).

Republican members of the Arizona state legislature are so worked up about the prospect of paid sick leave in their state that they’re trying to actively divert taxpayer dollars from cities that have chosen to mandate it. You can tell these guys are really dedicated to the concept of a small central government that doesn’t meddle in local affairs.

Are you “Looking for America?” Have you checked underneath your shoes? Ah, here it is—inside of the Washington Post, of course.

Finally something delightful this primary: Donald Trump and Ben Carson trapped onstage and on-camera for the entire duration of a special live rendition of the song “Stand By Me”.

A porn star describes the unique demands of virtual reality porn: “‘If the artifice is apparent then you feel like you’re with a hot girl and she wants nothing to do with you.’ Users, she said, ‘experience that enough in their real life.’” :(

How cash-strapped is the MTA? Enough to go after serial train thief Darius McCollum, who recently sold the movie rights to his life story, in an effort to wrest any profits from the film away from him.

A man who punched and kicked a protestor at a Donald Trump rally in Tucson, Arizona, on Saturday was arrested and charged with misdemeanor assault, the Tucson Police Department said. Tony Pettway, 32, was released later on Saturday.

Last month, according to campaign finance reports, Hillary Clinton raised more than $30.1 million to be used in the Democratic primary—to be used, in other words, against Senator Bernie Sanders. From the New York Times:

“Gov. John Kasich of Ohio expressed openness this weekend to considering Judge Merrick B. Garland for the Supreme Court, only to later clarify that he was just being polite and would not, in fact, choose him for the court.”

In December, in a deposition regarding one of the class-action lawsuits being brought against Trump University, Donald Trump said, “I’m dying to go to court on this case.” On Friday, however, his lawyers argued that by requesting a summer trial the plaintiffs were trying to undermine his presidential campaign.

Last week, the New Hampshire Secretary of State released the list of delegates who will represent the state at the Republican National Convention in July. One of the alternates for the Trump campaign is Gerald DeLemus, who is currently facing federal indictment over his alleged involvement with the Bundy family.

In February (the month he dropped out), Jeb Bush loaned his presidential campaign $250,000, according to new campaign finance documents. Also: nearly half of the money Marco Rubio’s super PAC raised since he announced his candidacy came in February—the month before he quit.

Donald Trump has been defending allegations against his own campaign manager’s behavior at a recent rally, all the while piling heaps of blame on one, unidentified man in a “dark pullover.” That man, as it turns out, is also on the Trump payroll, and will also not be facing discipline for manhandling a protestor.

Five people died on Saturday morning after a suicide bomb detonated in a busy tourist shopping area of Istanbul, Turkey. Among those five, Reuters confirmed that two held dual citizenship with the U.S. and Israel.

Donald Trump, a man who has forcefully asserted that he does no accept responsibility, should not be expected to take responsibility for the violence his own campaign incites at his rallies regularly.

When will this man learn that there are cameras rolling around him all the time?

A crowd of protestors marched through the heart of midtown Manhattan on Saturday, chanting for a man who was not at home.