Miley Cyrus hosted SNL last night, and the only entertaining part was this softcore pornography about the shutdown. Enjoy, America!

In America, getting arrested is perhaps the easiest part of dealing with law enforcement. Then comes the court fees, probation, and, of course, paying a company to stop posting your mug shot online.

Residents of a small street on the east side of Buffalo, NY say their neighborhood has gone downhill following a massive drug bust that snared a 58-year-old grandma kingpin who had family members slinging crack out of five different houses on Deshler Street.

The Pentagon is calling back around 350,000 furloughed employees this week, cutting the number of furloughed government workers almost in half. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel justified the recall by liberally interpreting the Pay Our Military Act, which covers members of the military and the civilians who provide them direct support.

Lifetime's House of Versace aired last night, and it was excellent to see Gina Gershon in her old thematic stomping ground of playing a coked-up lady boss set on making everyone's lives miserable. Though critically savaged, I'd wager that Gershon's alternately groggy and raving portrayal of Donatella Versace (complete with a caricature of Donatella's rumbling, accented basso) will age about as well as her iconic turn in Showgirls as Cristal Connors.

The New York Times is having some accuracy trouble with those hip robotic French DJ's again.

Since the beginning of the government shutdown, radical Republicans have dictated the agenda for the rest of their party, unilaterally steering their party towards a prolonged shutdown in the effort to defund Obamacare. In day six of the closure of the Federal government, the cause of this rule by minority is becoming clear: the 2010 Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission Supreme Court decision.

In an effort to maybe have a chance of getting elected, Virginia gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli ran out of a conservative fundraising gala early last night so that he could avoid being photographed with Sen. Ted Cruz.

A Floridian law enforcement love triangle turned ugly this week after a deputy officer punched her husband's new girlfriend in the face.

600 pumpkins have gone missing from a Long Island Farm. What a world.

Would you like to see The Weiner Monologues, a Greek tragedy built around the "rise and fall (and rise and fall again)" of one spectacularly failed NYC Mayoral candidate? Me neither.

The New York Times is reporting that Navy SEALS have presumably killed a leader of the Shabab militant group in the Somali town of Baraawe. Al-Shabab claimed responsibility for the attack on a Nairobi shopping mall two weeks ago.

During a segment on the government shutdown yesterday, Fox News host Anna Kooiman claimed that President Obama has "has offered to pay out of his own pocket for the museum of Muslim culture." Problem being, besides the complete lie she told about the president, is that a museumby that name in Washington D.C. doesn't even exist.

A G.W. Exotic Animal Park employee was mauled by an adult male tiger today after she put her arm inside the tiger's cage.

The customers of a Manhattan psychic are being forced to recount their current lives (in front of an entire court no less), lives in which they forked over thousands of dollars to a woman who proclaimed to tell them about their past lives.

Today the New York Times style section has taken on the topic of Twitter biographies, where "surreal Dadaists and suburban dads alike demonstrate that they are special snowflakes with Wes Anderson-worthy quirks."

Drug traffickers messed up big time when they dropped a bag containing more than a million dollars right into the hands of Bolivian anti-drug police.

I chose to write about sisters because that’s the only story that is mine, the only story I have any right to tell.

Jellyfish, scourge of the seas, have prompted the shutdown of a nuclear plant in Sweden. Time for those jellyfish-killin' robots to get to work.

Children in California can now have more than two legal parents after Governor Jerry Brown signed legislation yesterday aimed to reflect modern "changes in family structure."