Brooklyn-based writer and comic Kyle Ayers swears it happened this way:

An off-duty NYPD officer was nearly beaten to death early Sunday morning in Queens as onlookers cheered “Worldstar!” and recorded the incident on cellphone cameras.

John F. Kennedy. A man. A president. An American. He died a long time ago. Now, it is 50 years later. Do we still live in a magical time? Only Peggy Noonan has the words to capture this age of miracles.

After jumping the turnstile at the Granville station of Chicago's Red Line — the Chicago Transit Authority's busiest line — and slapping several commuters, a fully nude woman announced that she was taking over the train and was heading to the front to drive it.

A severe storm system slammed the Midwest yesterday, killing at least six people and injuring dozens more throughout Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, and Missouri. "The devastation is just unbelievable," Gary Manier, the mayor of Washington, Illinois, told Reuters. "I can't imagine people walked away from these places."

[A news cameraman shoots video of an auto parts store destroyed by a tornado in Washington, Ill., on Sunday. Tornadoes in the Midwest killed at least six people and injured at least 37 during Sunday's destructive storms. Photo by David Mercer via AP]

Alex Calderwood, popular co-founder of the Ace Hotels chain, died in London on Thursday at the age of 47. His company, Atelier Ace, announced his passing but no further information has been released.

Like many consumers who have had a bad experience, Jen Palmer wrote a review online in 2008 after the Christmas presents her husband ordered from Kleargear.com never arrived. Years later, thanks to her online review, the couple is facing a damaged credit score and a $3,500 fine.

Is Los Angeles the best food town in America?

Of course you can.

A little girl falling over on ice might be cute, but twin babies hugging each other and getting a weird French bath might be cuter, in its own weird, French way.

She was just trying to take her kids to the Rio Grande. Or that's what Oriana Ferrell says in this newly released dashcam footage from an Oct. 28 incident outside of Taos, New Mexico.

Butterball has announced a nationwide shortage of turkeys just in time for Thanksgiving. The reason? "We experienced a decline in weight gains on some of our farms causing a limited availability of large, fresh turkeys," said a non-worrisome company statement.

A Vermont man has been charged with child cruelty after he made his injured four-year-old and nine-year-old sons walk more than a mile down a snow-covered road instead of getting help after his SUV crashed into a utility pole.

[At least 59 tornadoes have touched down in the Midwest today as a system of severe weather battered the area, destroyed homes, and delayed football games. Photo via AP]

Cunt Punter Rebecca Martinson has found her calling: A columnist for Vice.

Every so often, a beautiful sort of kismet occurs on Saturday Night Live, when a public figure goes off the rails and an SNL comic is perfectly positioned to mock them mercilessly. It happened for Will Ferrell with George Bush and Tina Fey with Sarah Palin. Now it's Bobby Moynihan's turn — and the man was born to play Rob Ford.

New Jersey's new online gambling laws are tight — so tight that some residents living near the border may not be allowed to ante up when the betting begins. Officials say the digital fencing, placed an "unspecified distance inland" to guard against New Yorkers and Pennsylvanians from partaking, will probably block some in-state users.

Humanity, we've done it. Sick of killing thousand-year-old trees and poisoning ancient reefs, we've gone ahead and found the oldest creature we could find and killed it. For science.

This tornado is interrupting some beautiful interspecies love along a lonely stretch of highway.