Kentucky police are expending resources and rewards to try to find the thieves who took $26,000 worth of rare bourbon and rye from a distillery in October.

A data company went through 600,000 of those "may be monitored" consumer phone calls and figured out that of all the goddamn states in the union, Ohio swears the most. Washington staters cursed the least, and South Carolinians ranked most polite, based on their rate and usage of words like "please" and "thank you."

[New York's smallest mayor helped to light the world's largest menorah Tuesday night. Photo by Andrew Burton via Getty.]

In the last year, the TSA has collected more than $500,000 in change left behind by passengers at security checkpoints. A Florida Representative has proposed the money, which was deposited into an "aviation security fund," go towards upgrades for members of the military and their families when they fly.

A 29-year-old University of Minnesota graduate has been locked up in a Dubai prison since April for making a parody YouTube video about teaching residents of a Satwa, wealthy neighborhood, how to fight. In the video, they learn to throw shoes and call for help over Twitter.

Prosecutors say that a New York police officer conspired with the brother of one of Albania's most wanted criminals to convince business owners in Queens to pay them monthly protection payments. The shining beacon of New York's finest is also accused of stalking his former mistress.

Up until today, Walmart was selling Banksy knockoffs on the Walmart website. The company has since disabled the listing, blaming the irony on a third-party vendor.

A union rep has confirmed that the engineer of the Metro-North train that crashed in the Bronx on Sunday, killing four and injuring scores more, "was nodding off and caught himself too late." Alcohol tests came back negative.

It's being called the "scariest commercial ever," because it is.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R), who's trying to generate buzz for a possible 2016 presidential run, had to fire a campaign aide today for her past racist Twitter rants against Latinos—the second such incident to rock Walker's administration since last summer.

Moving right along from the definitive movie mashup of the year to the definitive pop music mashup of the year.

"Girl, I promise this will be painless, painless/ We'll take a trip to planet Uranus": Slate's catalog of R. Kelly's sexual metaphors is a wondrous achievement.

The year isn't over yet, but it might as well end with today's release of The Sleepy Skunk's annual Movie Trailer Mashup.

When a popular nightclub learned it had been the victim of a brazen theft, it didn't get mad — it offered the thieves a cash prize in exchange for sneaking the stolen items back in.

Is alcohol-loving, cocaine-buying Congressman Trey Radel (R-Fla.) using taxpayer-funded federal health insurance coverage to pay for his estimated $658-a-day rehab?

In 2011, I was approached by a shady online marketing firm that offered to pay me to quietly insert links to their clients' websites in Gawker posts. We imagined that exposing the practice might end it. Not at all! It's happened again.

The American Legislative Exchange Council, beloved play-toy of conservative financiers like the Koch brothers and purveyor of controversial gun-rights legislation, is scurrying to woo back lost members and cover financial shortfalls, internal documents show.

On Tuesday, Scotland Yard's head of counter-terrorism told Parliament that the news staff of the Guardian could be investigated on terrorism charges for publishing several articles based on classified documents leaked by Edward Snowden.

"I was left with an inescapable conclusion: Jews don't hunt."

[Chaos, a chimpanzee, looks through the glass at visitors during his public debut in the Onstead Foundation Chimpanzee Habitat at the Houston Zoo. Photo by David J. Phillip via AP]