Union-busting crapola purveyor Walmart hates nothing more than organized labor. It has an extensive system in place to quash union talk wherever it arises. And its sample dialogues are quite enjoyable!

Welcome to Antiviral, an occasional column in which we run down the worst hoaxes, pranks, Photoshops and straight-out lies blowing up on the internet.

A man trapped in yesterday's snowstorm did exactly what snow-trapped people are supposed to do: He got drunk. He quickly realized, though, that he needed some Taco Bell but he knew that 1) he was too drunk to drive and B) even if he did drive, his hybrid car wouldn't make it through the snow. So he took his plight to Craigslist.

Last week, a Mississippi man finally pled guilty to mailing President Obama a ricin-laden letter and trying to frame an Elvis impersonator for the crime. Tuesday, he settled other legal business: confessing that he inappropriately touched little girls at his karate studio, Tupelo Taekwondo Plus.

The man who brought us the George W. Bush paintings has reportedly been arrested: On Wednesday night, Romanian authorities arrested Marcel Lazăr Lehel, the 40-year-old man accused of being the hacker Guccifer, at his home in Arad. Guccifer has hacked into the email accounts of Colin Powell, family members and friends of at least three U.S. presidents, plus numerous other celebrities and officials.

Bill Murray, the king of unannounced hangouts, stopped by Reddit this week to participate in an Ask Me Anything, where he gave a series of thought-out, poetic musings on life, love and pickles.

Aspen-Pitkin County Airport just released its multi-angle infared security camera footage of a private jet that crashed (and was live-tweeted by LeAnn Rimes and Kevin Nealon) earlier this month. The fireball impact killed one pilot and injured two others.

A woman dancing on a beach in Spain last week severely underestimated the strength and speed of an incoming wave.

Another snowstorm is blanketing the East Coast in a polar-vortexed-frost, which means it's time for residents of unplowed streets to complain of classist plowing.

Candy Crush — the annoyingly addictive game bent on going public — just successfully trademarked the word "candy" for video games and clothing. Developers of other games using the word "candy" say Apple has sent out notices asking them to prove they're not infringing on Candy Crush or remove their games from the App Store.

The birthplace of the beer-filled aisle slip-and-slide, the LIRR has long been a fertile ground for unintentional comedy, practically requiring intoxication as a prerequisite for boarding.

A police department got a lucky break earlier this week when an accused criminal accidentally shared the department's Facebook post about his status as a fugitive. Police arrested the man less than an hour later.

Opposition leaders (claiming that the Ukrainian government has been deliberately provoking violence among the more radical opponents) say that the government has also been discouraging protests by sending, "Dear subscriber, you are registered as a participant in a mass disturbance," to bystanders' cell phones.

All good things must come to an end. The Chief Executive Officer of Rupert Murdoch’s Dow Jones, Lex Fenwick, is leaving the News Corp subsidiary, according to an announcement posted on the company’s website. Fenwick joined Dow Jones in 2010 after 25 years at Bloomberg LP, and oversaw the development of DJX, a product designed to compete with Bloomberg LP’s wire service. Fenwick was also the subject of an ex-Bloomberg employee’s unhinged resignation letter. The pertinent bit:

When the statute of limitations for sexual abuse came up before one California woman could work up the courage to report her abuser, she took the matter into her own hands. A California woman identifying herself as Jamie, claiming that a teacher had molested her, said she recently found the teacher's phone number and confronted her. Jamie taped the whole conversation.

Eight-year-old Akshat Singh is a contestant on India's Got Talent. Judging from this video, the other contestants might as well quit now.

Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell and his wife, Maureen, have both been indicted on federal corruption charges related to their acceptance of more than $160,000 in gifts from the CEO of Star Scientific, a Virginia dietary supplement manufacturer.

Patrick Kennedy—former congressman, son of the late Sen. Ted Kennedy—got on MSNBC last night to tell Barack Obama that, contrary to the president's recent statements, marijuana is terribly, terribly dangerous. It was a bizarre message. It was even weirder, considering the messenger.

The publisher of the St. Augustine (FL) Record is asking readers to gather in the paper's offices each night to help proofread pages. "A nice dinner for two to the person who helps us catch the most typos and errors," she writes. God, that is humiliating. Related.

Here's a video of a very drunk Rob Ford saying... something in what sounds like a terrible Jamaican accent. The video was reportedly recorded last night. If you can figure out what he's saying, let us know in the comments.