Kim Kardashian Is Hashtag-Pissed at "Fake Media Friend" Katie Couric

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Rich Juzwiak

08/16/13 02:02PM

Filed to: Feuds

Kim Kardashian, who emerged from the womb of seclusion this for the first time after renting her own womb out to a demigod and future rich kid of Instagram, is mad at Katie Couric. She just Instagrammed this shot of Couric's baby gift to Kardashian and everyone's favorite god:

Kardashian's kaption reads: "#IHateFakeMediaFriends #MayIHumblySuggestYouNotSendGiftsThenTalkShit"

She may be referring to a recent In Touch interview, in which Couric wondered, "I don’t understand — why are [the Kardashians] so famous? I think it’s mostly teenage girls that are interested." This sounds more like pop-culture coping than talking shit, and it's just a more civil repackaging of what everyone else on the planet has been saying for at least half a decade.

Far more offensive than that interview is Couric's apparent inability to finish a sentence. "As a moth"? She called her a moth. That's just rude. "And may I humbly suggest you continue the K tradition for na"? I mean, I can fill in the blank, but I don't know if Kim can. This rubs that in her face.

Also, in the words of the very wise #RealMediaFriend Tyra Banks, everybody talks about everybody. But not everybody buys baby gifts for everybody. Kim should be happy with what she got.

[Image via Getty]

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

43

JohnMcClanesSmirk Rich Juzwiak 08/16/13 02:14PM

In mathematics, the absolute value of a real number x is the non-negative value of x without regard to its sign. Namely, |x| = x for a positive x, |x| = −x for a negative x, and |0| = 0.

Kim Karadishian's genius is realizing that in a post-modern age all that matters is a "absolute celebrity", or , "|k|", independent of moral or objective "value" (In a world where noting is true, the positive and the negative become immaterial.) All she needs to do is consistently, and without purpose, get as far a way as "0" as as possible, "0" being define solely as irrelevancy. Its the same logic behind rightwing trolls, mass shootings, and rise of Guy Fergie.

Boomsticktmo JohnMcClanesSmirk 08/16/13 02:59PM

I am at work and can't post the clapping gif... but well said sir, well said. I want to steal this quote, I won't use it as mine, but I have stolen it and will use it JohnMcclanesSmirk and it will have your screen name with it.

2

shin-go9712 JohnMcClanesSmirk 08/16/13 04:08PM

Q, E, and fucking D.

1

JohnMcClanesSmirk Boomsticktmo 08/16/13 05:53PM

I'm touched but it's an anonymous blog, you don't have to give me credit! That would be absurd, it's for the love of the game.

Crestfallen Commenter JohnMcClanesSmirk 08/16/13 06:00PM

This is like a deleted passage from Cryptonomicon.

47

corey3rd Rich Juzwiak 08/16/13 02:09PM

The Kardashians are nervous cause those Duck Dynasty Guys are bumping them out of the spotlight like they did Paris Hilton. It's just the nature of the game. Someday Kim Kardashian will fart and TMZ won't cover it.

BeachBum1NYC corey3rd 08/16/13 02:20PM

That can't happen soon enough. And when it does, Pimp Mama K will go into meltdown because North can't make a sex tape to get them back on top of the slime heap until she's 18 .

GRUNT corey3rd 08/16/13 02:26PM

Luckily Duck Dynasty has a decent backbone and isn't relying on media for money.

reggiebushlateral corey3rd 08/16/13 02:29PM

I am amazed at the appeal of the Duck Dynasty family. But then Jon and Kate Plus 8 captivated America for a time. I assume the inevitable downfall of the Duck Dynasty family will become tabloid fodder in a few years.

1

snobbyone corey3rd 08/16/13 02:38PM

Bets part is the Duck Dynasty gang don't give a shit. If they're ratings fall off they're just keep being beards.

11

RandomDude Rich Juzwiak 08/16/13 02:11PM

It must be sad for Armenians the world over to realize that she's the world's most famous Armenian and she got famous due to a sex tape. And a huge ass. Sigh.

foolyoo RandomDude 08/16/13 02:14PM

Not just a sex tape, also many a leaked sex photos of pretty much every one of her orifices and that whole staged marriage deal.

2

paristexas RandomDude 08/16/13 02:21PM

We are sad. Very sad. Very very sad. Armenians hate them.

blackintrovert RandomDude 08/16/13 02:28PM

*fake ass

Fixed that for ya. ;)

8

Violining RandomDude 08/16/13 02:30PM

I feel sad for classical violist Kim Kashkashian, who's been famous in the classical world for decades, but now gets confused in print with this joke.

20

vanessakeepslosingherburnersss Rich Juzwiak 08/16/13 02:12PM

I dunno, I think making passive-aggressive comments behind someone's back and then sending it out so millions can see is kinda worse? Phones aren't just for taking selfies, they can also be used to call said 'fake friends' and let them know how you feel.

2

PersonaGrata vanessakeepslosingherburnersss 08/16/13 02:21PM

AMEN!

7

blackintrovert vanessakeepslosingherburnersss 08/16/13 02:31PM

I hate to defend Kim Kardashian, but technically this isn't passive aggressive and it's not behind her back. If I talked shit about someone in a Facebook post and tagged them in it, that's me talking shit to them directly and publicly. Katie could easily see this because everything Kim does gets attention. And it's not passive aggressive because she's calling her a fake friend and stuff.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go take a shower because defending her makes me feel dirty.

Russ blackintrovert 08/16/13 02:41PM

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you were *really* defending her as much as questioning OP's phrasing.

But yeah, defending the Kardashians could make any self-respecting commenter go all Silkwood.

6

Oh--Indeed blackintrovert 08/16/13 03:05PM

Social media shit-talk is the epitome of passive-aggressive. It's like the note on the fridge, except a thousand times worse because you put it out there for everyone else to see. It's the ultimate passive-aggressive, afraid-of-confrontation way to say "Fuck you" without having to actually, y'know, speak to the other person directly. It is for cowards.