Guy in Elephant Hat Finds Hillary Clinton Guilty of Treason
On Tuesday, Chris Christie took the RNC stage to conduct a witch trial in absentia of Hillary Clinton, which, like all fair and just tribunals, involved one party making their case and a crowd of thousands chanting for blood.
“We’re gonna present the facts to you, you sitting as a jury of her peers,” said Christie. “Since the Justice Department refuses to allow you to render a verdict, I’m going to present the case now, on the facts, against Hillary Rodham Clinton.”
Unsurprisingly, the audience returned a verdict of “LOCK HER UP” on a variety of charges relating to her actions and email habits as Secretary of State.
Of particular note was a stylish juror in an elephant hat who looked suspiciously like a former President of the United States. In May, a spokesperson for George W. Bush said he would not be attending the convention. Maybe he just needed the perfect disguise.