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Last night on U.K. TV, doctor/TV presenter/hunk of stuff Christian Jessen underwent various kinds of reparative therapy people seek to rid themselves of homosexuality in the one-off special Undercover Doctor: Cure Me I'm Gay. Now listen to me, 'cause I am about to fuck you up with some truth in the form of the spoiler to end all spoilers: It didn't work. Ingesting a drug so that he threw up as he was presented with naked men didn't work. Being fed subliminal messages about his penis' ability to remain erect inside of a vagina didn't work. Being told by evangelist teenagers that homosexuality is caused by demons didn't work (although it did make him cry).

And something that especially didn't work was coloring a picture of a brain and then asking brown what it thinks about gray, as prescribed by Texas-based psychotherapist Dr. Jerry Mungadze. Mungadze calls this a "natural MRI." He also says the thyroid and adrenal glands are located in the brain. (Here's another spoiler: They aren't.) Also, as revealed in Jessen's hidden-camera segment of Mungadze's consultation, Mungadze is colorblind. Finally, his middle name is Motherfuckingfraud.

Mungadze charges $250 for an introductory session like the one Jessen underwent in the clip above, but don't worry if you aren't in Texas and have literally nothing to do with your money but throw it at a homophobe with a supposed PhD: Mungadze also does webcam and Skype consultations. You'd have better luck with Fiona Wallice, and she's just Lisa Kudrow playing an idiot.

Also, before the special aired a story made the rounds that one of the reparative therapists in the special was claiming that listening to Adele contributes to one's homosexuality. The man was Dr. John Smid, who's actually a retired reparative therapist and now openly gay. During that segment of the show, he was sorting through Jessen's stuff, saying what was gay and what wasn't to illustrate how he would treat his patients and how silly it all was. Here's a guy who gets it (finally).