Financial Advisers Are No Longer Allowed to Rip You Off So Much, Huzzah

That odd sound you hear this morning is the groaning of a million financial con artists who are complaining that their business model—ripping people off—is being undermined by good governance. Dang.

After many years of arcane arguments, most of which were conducted in bad faith, the US Labor Department has at last passed new rules that require the people who advise you on how to invest your money to act in your best interests.

THAT’S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!

The widespread application of the so-called “fiduciary standard,” meaning that financial advisers generally have to advise you to invest in things that will make you, rather than them, the most money, will likely end up saving you money that would have otherwise gone into the pockets of middlemen. Funny how that works.

“I AM NO WOLF OF WALL STREET. I AM MERELY A NORMAL PERSON WHO MIGHT WANT TO SOCK AWAY A LITTLE BIT OF CASH IN HOPES OF ONE DAY EATING A WEEKLY VEGETABLE ALONG WITH MY DOG FOOD DIET IN RETIREMENT. WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF?”

Your government has, for once, passed a rule requiring people who were ripping you off to not rip you off so much.

Good day overall.