Comcast: We'll Try to Stop Fucking You, But "It May Take Years"
After a string of high profile customer service cock-ups, Comcast has put an executive in charge of fixing the problem (or at least making it seem like the company actually cares). But Comcast can't just stop screwing over its customers overnight—it's going to take years.
After all, the Worst Company in America is busy preparing to merge with Time Warner Cable, and the combined behemoth will serve 30 million households. That's a lot of people to provide shitty phone support for.
Comcast president and CEO Neil Smit made sure to manage your already low expectations in his announcement of the new customer service VP position: "Transformation isn't going to happen overnight," Smit wrote, "In fact, it may take a few years before we can honestly say that a great customer experience is something we're known for."
The president of the company that put a couple through a 20-minute nightmare call before letting them cancel their account went on to add that customer service is Comcast's "number one priority."
"We are putting customers at the center of every decision we make," continued the high-ranking executive of the corporation that continues to demand the right to throttle Netflix traffic to stop its cable TV subscribers from cutting the cord.
It's cool, though. I'm sure things will be totally different now that there's a new guy in charge of "listening to customer feedback" at a company that faces virtually no market competition.
