U2 frontman Bono, who suffered some gruesome injuries last November in a high-speed cycling accident while disguised as a hasidic Jew, kicked off 2015 with some news that will be extremely sad to you if you are Bono: Bono's broken hand and arm may not be able to play Bono's guitar ever again.

In a 6,000-word, A-to-Z review of his year, he buried this revelation somewhere in the middle, filed under I IS FOR IRISH PRIDE:

I broke my hand, my shoulder, my elbow and my face but the real injury this year was to my Irish pride as it was discovered that under my tracksuit I was wearing yellow and black Lycra cycling shorts. Yes, LYCRA. This is not very rock 'n' roll.

Recovery has been more difficult than I thought... As I write this, it is not clear that I will ever play guitar again. The band have reminded me that neither they nor Western civilization are depending on this.

I personally would very much miss fingering the frets of my green Irish falcon or my (RED) Gretsch. Just for the pleasure, aside from writing tunes. But then does the Edge, or Jimmy Page, or any guitarist you know have a titanium elbow, as I do now? I'm all elbows, I am.

Don't worry (or celebrate) that this will prevent or delay the release of more U2 songs, though. Being physically immobile after metal plates and screws were installed to fix the place where his humerus jutted through his skin and his leather jacket (oof) has only given Bono more time to write songs and mumble to himself.

Elsewhere in his short book on 2014, Bono laments that the blogosphere is "is enough to put a fella off free speech."

[T]he problem about finding out what people think is...you find out what they think. Who are these people? Well if they put their real names to their invective then I guess they are people like me—people with the audacity to think they have a thought or a feeling that others should hear about… if they are hiding, I'm not interested.

What I thought about Bono on this blog last year was that Jimmy Fallon's impression of Bono was better than Bono's. Bono agrees:

The pain of my bike accident didn't compare with the disappointment of cancelling a week hanging out on his show. He made it worse by being a better Bono than I could ever be.

Thank you for conceding this point, Bono. Happy new year.

[h/t NBC]