Ben Carson's Not Firing Anyone But He's Also Not Not Going to Fire Anyone
Soft-spoken attempted murderer Ben Carson this week announced a mysterious campaign shakeup that definitely won’t involve layoffs, unless it does.
Carson announced Wednesday that his flailing campaign would soon see some sort of shakeup, which he strongly implied would involve staffing changes.
(To wit, he told CNN he was “refining some operational practices and streamlining some staff assignments to more aptly match the tasks ahead.” Those “personnel changes,” he told the AP, could affect anyone: “Everything. Everything is on the table, Every single thing is on the table. I’m looking carefully.”)
But when Ben Carson said of personnel changes, “everything is on the table,” he meant everything but personnel changes, he confusingly clarified hours later.
“The Washington Post, quite frankly, had their story already written before they talked to me,” Carson told Don Lemon Wednesday night. “And they were convinced that I was gonna fire everybody and we were going to just go in a completely different direction, and that’s absolutely not true.”
Ok, sure. So Ben Carson isn’t going to fire everyone. Except:
“The key word there is ‘may.’ We’re always going to be looking at it. We’re always going to be evaluating how people are performing” he concluded. “No one is ever 100% guaranteed that they’re always going to be there.”
So there you have it. He’s going to fire someone, except he’s not, but he’s also not not going to fire someone.
