Battle for the Republican Nomination: Marco Rubio's Aide Punched Rand Paul's Aide Last Night
[There was a video here]
The real battle for the Republican nomination is apparently playing out in a Michigan bar, where aides for the candidates were literally fighting each other last night.
The powerless struggle reportedly went down at Horn’s Bar on Mackinac Island—home of the Mackinac Republican Leadership Conference, a biannual gathering for white men wearing untucked button-down shirts.
Among those men were Rand Paul’s chief Michigan strategist, John Yob, and some other guy who, if we’re being honest, Yob hadn’t even heard of before: Rich something, who works as a deputy campaign manager for Marco Rubio
Explaineth Yob, “I ran into a guy named Rich Beeson, who frankly I didn’t even know who it was at first because he isn’t relevant in our political world... He literally physically assaulted me by punching me in the face. The state police are looking for him. I have it on video, from multiple angles. This will play out in the national media in the next few hours.”
And it’s playing out, but the video is...underwhelming and cops currently will “neither confirm nor deny that the incident took place” to reporters. (Plus, according to resident squats expert Hamilton Nolan, it was “more of a poke than a punch.”)
In the meantime, Yob’s been emailing Rubio’s campaign director (“Hey man you better wake up. Beeson punched me in the face. Cops involved”) and tweeting solemn missives about Beeson, so we here at Gawker can confidently confirm: both parties have lost this fight.
