Apparently, Being a Despotic Dictator Really Fucks You Up
Though Kim Jong Un’s world might seem glamorous, it turns out that the life of a despotic, human rights-violating dictator is stressful. Because since ascending to the throne in 2012, Supreme Commander Kim Jong Un has put on nearly 100 pounds.
And who can blame him? He constantly has to thwart assassination plots. He then has to retaliate with his own assassination plots. Then his wife wants to “talk about feelings?” Jesus, give him a break! And then give Kim Jong Un the Ben and Jerry’s.
“When Kim first came to power in 2012 he weighed [198 pounds] but in 2014 he weighed [264 pounds] and most recently is believed to weigh about [286 pounds],” [South Korean lawmaker Lee Cheol-uoo] said Friday.
Lee also said Kim feel “threats” from North Korea’s People’s Army.
“[Kim Jong Un] checks on threats from the military, and suffers from distress due to the general threat to his personal safety,” the South Korean parliamentarian said.
And since Kim relies on a fantastical cult of personality to keep his countrymen in check, he’s terrified of the reality reaching North Korea’s commoners. Like the fact that he did not actually learn to drive at age three.
To cope, Kim apparently eats. Surely his starving subjects would understand.
