Kate Upton and Diddy Are Reportedly Dating; Great Work, Everyone (UPDATE)
Proving true the old maxim, "good things come to those who wait," rap mogul Diddy, who waited 43 years to begin dating supermodel Kate Upton, is rumored to be dating supermodel Kate Upton.
The New York Daily News reports that Diddy, 43, and Upton, who is 20 and doesn't even know what alcohol tastes like, though she imagines it tastes like cinnamon and honey and a splash of perfume, were spotted "sharing an intimate dinner" in Manhattan last Thursday.
One week earlier, the duo was allegedly seen making out—just straight up, unabashed, I want to taste your tongue right now with my tongue in public-style making out—at a club in Miami.
"They were kissing," an onlooker reported to the NYDN, "they weren't hiding it."
Since Kate Upton's boobs are the most popular boobs in the world right now, this is quite a coup for Diddy, best known today as "the actor from the Ciroc ads." It would have made more sense for him to be dating Kate Upton in, say, 1999, except then she would have been 7 years old, so that would not have made sense.
(The NYDN suggests "Diddyup" for their celebrity nickname; "KatDiddy" is probably more appropriate, given Upton's passion for the art of dance.)
Upton was most recently linked to baseball player Justin Verlander, though the two reportedly broke up just before February 14th, a date on the Gregorian calendar which was arbitrarily chosen to represent love. The NYDN writes that Diddy and his protégée-turned-girlfriend, singer/former dELiA*s catalogue model Cassie were house-hunting together in Beverly Hills in January.
Hopefully she picked out a nice house for Kate Upton to make out in.
UPDATE
Kate Upton is now publicly claiming she doesn't like-like Diddy:
Really??? Not at all true..“@thecut: .@kateupton and @iamdiddy seen sucking face and dining out!"
— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) April 10, 2013
Meanwhile, a dejected Diddy throws his bouquet of hand-picked "daisies" (they're dandelions, Diddy, but that's sweet) in the trash and kicks a rock all the way home. :(