Canadian Parliament: 'Canada Will Never Become a Safe Haven for Zombies'
While politically-minded Americans were busy considering the social media ramifications of Marco Rubio's water sip and Ted Nugent's State of the Union seat placement, their neighbors to the north were debating more serious issues, like a potential zombie apocalypse.
The "debate" started with a speech by New Democratic Parliament Member Pat Martin, during which he challenged Foreign Minster John Baird's preparedness for any zombie invasion.
"I rise today to salute the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta for putting in place emergency measures in an effort to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I don't need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don't recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it's not contained. So on behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, Mr. Speaker, I want to ask the minister of Foreign Affairs if he's working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse."
Half of the Canadian Parliament gave Martin a standing ovation before Baird responded.
"Mr. Speaker, I want to assure all Canadians that I am 'dead-icated' to ensure that this never happens," Baird said. "I want to say to this member and through him to all Canadians that under the leadership of this Prime Minster Canada will never become a save haven for zombies ever!"
Despite their problems earlier today, it looks like Canada finally did something right.