A middle school teacher's poorly thought-out plan to get out of going to jail by offering a police officer oral sex and a breast grope resulted in bribery getting tacked on to her existing DUI and hit-and-run charges.

Mary Patricia Maloney, who teaches 7th grade science at Palm Springs Middle School in South Florida, was arrested Sunday in Greenacres after allegedly colliding with another car and fleeing the scene.

The arresting officer noted in his report that an empty jug of wine was visible near the driver's seat, and Maloney appeared drunk.

He also noted that Maloney made "random vulgar statements" on the way to the police station, and, at one point, asked the cop rhetorically, "Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

Maloney then attempted an ill-advised tit-for-tat exchange with the officer, offering to perform oral sex on him and allow him "to fondle her breasts" in return for dropping the charges.

The officer declined, and Maloney was subsequently booked on charges of hit and run, driving under the influence, knowingly driving with a suspended or revoked license, and bribery.

The 53-year-old, who has been arrested three times since a previous DUI incident in 2009, remains employed by the Palm Beach County School District pending the outcome of a referral to the district's Employee Assistance Program.

"These are very serious charges and could subject the employee to discipline of suspension or termination," said district spokesman Nat Harrington.

[mug shot via Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office]