One of the greatest things about reading all the nasty, incoherent emails you send us each week is that I'm always on the cutting edge of the latest email trends. Oh we're doing ALL CAPS this week? Sounds great. This is the week we all stopped trying with the your/you're there/their/they're differentiation? Love it, makes life easier. This week, however, the passive-aggressive custom sign-off was the new black. And, boy, have we got some good ones. Like the note your college roommate used to leave on the refrigerator, but even more passive-aggressive, since it's via the Internet.

Happy holiday, ya lovable shitheads! Pass the egg nog (no, don't, egg nog is fucking gross).

Do not ask Hamilton, who is barred from the Hamilton National Genealogical Society because of a first name/surname technicality, about the origin of his name. It make him very bunt.

Subj: Hamilton Nolan

I want to know about this guy Hamilton Nolan. Does he know that there was a man name Alexander Hamilton who was in the early day of United States? This make me bunt. So tell him about this one. Maybe Hamilton Nolan named him after this man and to give honor and tribute to this type of person, or maybe they are just queering in the closet? I do not know about this type of thing but we must all know it, yups.

Lotsa Hamilton hate this week, folks. Though does that previous email count as Hamilton hate? I'm not really sure what the fuck that was.

Hey fuckwit, your fucking article about fucking legos let me know how incredibly fucking stupid you are, What's the matter, fuckface, fucking mommy fucking didn't fucking buy you fucking legos when you fucking begged?

I love that word but HATE to see it so overused.

So, happy fucking holidays to you,

I am MoraLee

We've been over this, people. I'm officially putting a moratorium on the Illuminati talk.

Subj: illuminati

not what you think;i thought that the illumunati were actually Czech.

"Please do not appreciate us in a genuine and honest way." - No one

Subj: Ur appreciation of Black Culture -dial it back.

While we Gawker Readers do appreciate some of the stories you write and your outward appreciation of the Black community and its icons, Beyonce included, I think its probably in your best interest to dial the black vernacular back a little. White privilege doesn't extend to liberal use of co opting expressions from other cultures. you can do just fine with what you already have in your tool box.

Subj: Re: Ur appreciation of Black Culture -dial it back.

I believe that growing up with a black father (in a predominantly black neighborhood, where I graduated from a predominantly black public high school) means that I am allowed to retain a great variety of expressions in my "tool box."

Thanks for your comments though.

Caity

Subj: Re: Re: Ur appreciation of Black Culture -dial it back.

Claiming black thru proxy seems to be all the rage nowadays. Wasn't like that when things were real - very real - for us blacks. All I'm asking you to do is think about it for a while.

John,
100% Full Blooded Negro

Roger Ailes, is that you?

Subj: fox mole

How lame can you get.......?

gawker is < irrelevant

One person find me one Oatmeal comic that is funny in any way. I dare you. Nope? Exactly.

Subj: Max Read

I am very unhappy with the publication of Max Read's personal vendetta against The Oatmeal. I do not come to Gawker for this kind of hit piece. Every morning as I log into my pc I get excited about what Gawker is going to present me with, but that joy is forever going to be tempered now thanks to Max Read.

We wouldn't make fun of Canada if it weren't such a backwards country. Free healthcare? Seven-point-two percent unemployment? Lowest crime rate since 1972? Most educated country in the world? Yep, sounds terrible.

I love your site.... Then u shit on Canadians today in your golden eagle post... Super disappointed... Americans need to pull their heads out of their asses... You allow weapons of war for free sale and justify it as a right, your education system is in the tank and you really no longer have an economy... You import the majority of needs... Canada isn't untrustworthy... We are safe, secure and moving forward... The US had become untrustworthy and is very close to becoming a joke

[Image by Jim Cooke]