Sorry that I'm talking about Christmas before you've even eaten your Thanksgiving meal, but some things just can't wait. Like most of you, I'm already rattled with fear over finding that perfect little stocking stuffer, that one gift that will make all my friends and family think, "Wow, what a thoughtful kid." Thankfully, Horny man Travis' NaNoWriMo entry has put my mind at ease.

It's a novel called "Sex Motorcycle," and it promises to be the talk of your holiday dinner. I'll let Horny man Travis (who may or may not be Weird Twitter goon @Lowenaffchen) take it from here:

Synopsis

A biker finds a motorcycle at an old mechanic shop that has a pussy in the seat so you can fuck it while riding. He has to keep it a secret because all the guys in his biker gang would want to fuck it

Aw yeah, the perfect erotic thriller for adults of all ages looking to replace the void left by "Fifty Shades of Grey." Still skeptical? The dialogue jumps off the page.

Excerpt

"Why do you have to zip up your pants every time you get off that hog, Travis," Punchy said. I nearly fell off the bike, aghast. "You got a pussy in that thing?" I coughed and gulped. "Hahahaha, nice one, Punchy," I said

I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but can't you already see Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Travis? Anyway, imagine the smiles on the faces of every single member of your family when they pull this bad boy out of their stocking:

I can already hear the motorcycles revving. So, enjoy Thanksgiving tonight knowing that you've already knocked one major task off of your holiday shopping list. And when it's your turn to tell the table what you're thankful for this year, you already know the words: "Horny man Travis."

[NaNoWriMo via Cord/dayo, image via Shutterstock]