A new report from Radar Online alleges that the reason Britney Spears hasn't been responding to your texts or leaving comments when you check in to Saad's Halal on Foursquare is that both her Internet and cell phone usage are "heavily monitored" to protect her from any negative influences like you and your drunk momma and that skateboard crew you roll around with. Also, her former manager says drug-sniffing dogs found crystal meth in her house once.

Spears has been under the conservatorship of her father, Jamie, for four and a half years. In April of this year, she requested that her fiancé Jason Trawick be added alongside her father as co-conservator. This request was approved, and Spears was declared a conservator of Romance.

While it was revealed in August that Britney Spears' initially temporary conservatorship had been extended through December 2008 to, presumably, the end of time as the result of a "serious medical issue," few specifics about the arrangement are known.

Now Radar reports that "a source close to the situation" has revealed that the reason it's been a success is that Britney Spears never texts Bad Boyz or reads anything negative about herself, ever.

"Britney's cell phone and internet use is restricted and heavily monitored, and this is done for her protection. Britney and Jason essentially share a cell phone, and it's routinely checked to see who has been calling. Furthermore, the cell phones have been programmed to block calls from phone numbers associated with [Britney's ex-manager, in place at the time of her well-publicized 2008 breakdown, Sam Lutfi]. Brit's computer usage is also restricted in the sense that certain websites are blocked. Her family doesn't want Britney reading negative stories that would upset her. Again, this is all done with love and for her well-being."

It seems a little suspect that someone computer-savvy enough to have included a ballad called "E-Mail My Heart" on her debut album wouldn't be clever enough to outwit some child protection settings (or just ask to borrow Demi Lovato's iPhone), but, as anyone who has been to a Spears concert can attest, Britney is full of surprises and loves confetti.

The details of Spears' strict home life have emerged just one week after Sam Lutfi alleged in a court filing that drug-sniffing dogs brought to Spears' California home in 2007 "found a cache of crystal methedrine, which was destroyed," or, at it looks to Britney, found a cache of PAGE NOT FOUND.

Lutfi is in the process of suing Spears and her parents for defamation and breach of contract. His request to have the singer take the stand as a witness in his case was recently denied by a judge.

A restraining order filed against Lutfi on Spears' behalf is set to expire later this year.

(Radar // NYDN // Image via Getty)