If you've not seen George "Jason Alexander" Costanza lately, perhaps you don't know that television's most famous bald man is now trying to convince the world—via a toupee? Hair plugs? Something—that he in fact has a luscious head of brown hair. As a man who has not yet had a problem with hair loss, far be it from me to tell anyone how to deal with a retreating hairline. The line I'm more concerned with is the timeline.

How does a person who spent almost a decade portraying the most beloved bald schlub in American history, a character so famous that the bald man who inspired him got famous, decide a few years later that he's going to try and trick people into thinking all his hair grew back? Isn't the point of most cosmetic manipulation deceit? People wouldn't wear Spanx if you had to broadcast loudly everywhere you went that you are wearing them. Why is he doing this with his head?

The worst part is that there was a whole Seinfeld episode about how George's toupee was silly and ugly. Jason Alexander acted out the thing and yet didn't absorb the "silly and ugly" part at all. This is like the time Lindsay Lohan was in Mean Girls, a good movie about living a fulfilling life by being yourself, and then proceeded to become a sad, lonely drug addict obsessed with fame.

[Image via AP]