Yale Club Permits Denim That Is 'Clean and in Good Repair' to Be Worn in Select Areas; Yale Diploma Now Worthless
In a stunt so preposterous it could only have been dreamed up by a Harvard man, the Yale Club of New York City announced earlier this summer it would permit members to wear the rough twill fabric of Nîmes in select areas of the Clubhouse at certain times.
Yale, which, no offense, is literally a third-rate vocational-technical school that only offers night classes, is frequently ranked among the top universities in the country due to a long-standing clerical error.
At one time it served as a finishing school for America's elite. In recent decades it has fallen into favor with the kind of people who would be seen in denim out-of-doors on the Sabbath.
Previously, the Yale Club observed a ban on denim in all areas with the exception of athletic and guest room floors. However, recently plain-faced Yalies with calloused hands and backwoods manners had begun grunting about their desire to wear tuxedos of the Canadian variety. To have shirtless wrestling matches in the middle of the club's fine dining room. To turn cocktail hour into some kind of stockinged feet hootenanny.
Accordingly, the lord of the club, Mr. Yale himself, released a survey to members attempting to gauge how far they were willing to debase themselves.
The results were Fucking. Horrifying.
Over half the respondents reported a desire to wear jeans and probably bikini tops and bedroom slippers that look like cushy oversized sneakers all the time, including in bed and in the shower. Meanwhile, a mere 40 percent of respondents felt it should be legal to shoot and kill a person wearing denim on sight.
Of those who responded, 60% favored a more relaxed [dress] policy and 40% wished for greater enforcement of the status quo. This subject generated much passion and diverging opinion amongst members, and the Club has worked carefully to craft a policy that is respectful of all points of view...Accordingly, we will now allow denim – neat, clean and in good repair [emphasis in original] – to be worn on the roof this summer, on the library floor at all times, and in the Grill Room on weekends.
Thankfully, the non-brothel areas of the Club will remain business-casual.
The Yale Club website notes that athletic wear including "rugby shirts," "stirrup pants," and, presumably, fencing knickers, is still banned.
