Maria Sharapova's New Candy Line Makes Candy Confusing
Tennis and candy go together like tennis and candy, so it makes perfect no sense that tennis superstar Maria Sharapova has just unveiled a new line of utterly incomprehensible candies.
The "Sugarpova" candy line, which, the Sugarpova website notes, is "premium," meaning "normal product but very over-priced," consists of all the candies you know and love from your local gas station checkout counter, repackaged in a way that makes them inscrutable.
For example, when you pay $5.99 (plus $7.95 shipping) for a 5-oz bag of "CHEEKY: Cute but fierce," what you have actually bought is a $13.94 bag of gummy bears.
When you order SPORTY: The taste of victory," you get a $13.94 bag of gumballs shaped like tennis balls.
"SMITTEN SOUR: Sugar, spice, and mostly nice" is "rainbow strips."
Are you starting to see a pattern? It's a red herring. There is no pattern. (If red herring were a Sugarpova offering, it would be packaged as "SNEAKY: Important but a lie" and cost $9,000.)
Of those aformentioned gumball tennis balls (which are, indeed, both round and green), Sharapova recently told People "These were so hard to create. It's incredible to make it realistic in such a small shape."
Sharapova personally chisels each tiny gumball into a tennis ball shape by hand before sending the candy batches to a factory where the spheres are melted down and re-cast into tiny gumballs shaped like tennis balls.
Sugarpova is available for order online or at a select number of IT'SUGAR retail locations, such as Branson Landing in Missouri and the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai.
