Uh oh, everyone panic: the temperature outdoors is not cold. Repeat: it is not cold outside. Well, gee, the only reasonable reaction to this state of affairs is to run a huge unwieldy power-sucking machine which will use massive amounts of energy in order to return our indoor space to its natural state—frigidity.

You people disgust me.

Everyone, quickly, strip down and take a look at your naked body. Is it covered with thick fur? No, it is not. It is mostly bare skin. Why, I wonder, would nature curse us with such a lack of warm fur, or subcutaneous blubber? Why would nature allow the polar bears and the whales to have these things, but not us? Could it be because humans are designed for warm climates???? Where we can sweat and cool ourselves quickly??? Humans are designed for heat. Not for cold. So do the world a favor: turn off the god damn A/C.

An air conditioner is a device that lowers temperatures to an artificially cold level, by contributing to global warming. It thereby perpetuates and increases the problem it is designed to solve. Great business model. Just like heroin. Why do Americans feel the need to constantly lower their ambient temperature whenever it creeps into the temperature range for which the human body is designed? Because they're used to A/C. Constant prolonged exposure to A/C erodes our natural ability to deal with the heat. It makes us weak. And it drives more demand for A/C. Without end, forever. Great business model. Just like cigarettes.

I come from Florida. Before air conditioning, the only people who lived in Florida were hearty types who could "take the heat." Everyone else had to "get out of the kitchen (Florida)." After air conditioning, Florida filled up with jerks, old people, and golfers. What is to blame? Air conditioning. And Republicans.

Do you think it is "okay" to be unable to even function on a day-to-day level in perfectly normal summer weather? It is not okay. It is an indication that you unsuited for your climate. Perhaps you should move to Antarctica, or something like that. You might find it more to your taste. A hot summer day like today, in New York City, means countless wasted megawatts of electricity from stores pouring air conditioning into the street through open doors and offices which feel the need to maintain wintry indoor temperatures despite the beautiful sunshine outside. All of this contributes to guzzling of fossil fuels which will keep us dependent on foreign oil and dirty hydrofracking in the short term, and will overheat our planet and kill our species in the long term.

It also creates a weak populace.

So turn off that A/C. It's beautiful. Look at that blue sky! Feel the sun's warmth on your skin! Allow your natural biological design to do its work! You can do it. It's not that hot.

COUNTERPOINT: Air Conditioning Makes You Cool and Strong Like Fonzie

[Photo: Jan Tik/ Flickr]