Fines for Public Profanity Being Considered by Massachusetts Town
The southern Massachusetts town of Middleborough is so goddamn tired of people cursing in public that it is mulling the institution of a penalty for profanity a la Demolition Man.
Okay, so we might be some ways away from a Big Brother-esque bot auto-issuing citations for repeated violations of the Verbal Morality Statute — and hopefully even farther away from replacing toilet paper with three seashells — but if the residents of Middleborough approve a measure decriminalizing the town's decades-old bylaw prohibiting public profanity, police officers could begin fining people up to $20 per fleeting expletive.
Proponents defended the proposal, telling the Associated Press it "isn't meant to censor casual or private conversations, but instead crack down on loud profanity in downtown areas and public parks."
Still, even if the new law is abused, it won't be that bad: At least you'll have a reliable source of toiler paper for when those damn seashells take over.
