Mom Burning Daughter in Tanning Salon May Portend the Jerseypocalypse (UPDATED)
Patricia Krentcil (pictured), a 44 year-old mom in Nutley, New Jersey, has been arrested for allegedly taking her five year-old daughter into a tanning booth with her, giving the child a "pretty severe sunburn."
Might this be as good a time as any to begin a serious and sober national debate over whether the best course of action would be to put the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to work trying to somehow physically saw the state of New Jersey off of the United States proper, allowing it to float out to sea where it would live on as a floating Babylon of tanning salons, Juicy™ sweatpants, and execrable accents, before finally and inevitably sinking into the ocean's dark waters, taking its motley crew of residents down in its icy embrace, never to be found again?
That might be a bit harsh.
UPDATE: Jezebel directs us to a Today interview with Krentcil. She has gotten some sun since her mugshot: