It turns out that Maryland's Mega Millions winner is not the wonderful Mirlande Wilson, who is likely still looking for her pants, nor is it a single person—it's a trio of school employees who went in on lottery tickets together. They're attempting to remain anonymous and will be known simply as the "Three Amigos," which roughly translates to, "We Are Fucking Loaded Now."

The amigos are three public school employees who had all been working multiple jobs when they decided to spring for tickets. They just won about $35 million each after taxes, and yet they told reporters that they're going to keep their identities secret and continue working:

The winners in Maryland are a woman in her 20s, a man in his 40s, and a woman in her 50s, Martino said.

They are an elementary school teacher, a special education teacher, and an administrative worker.

[...]

One of the winners holds two full-time jobs, Martino said. One of the teachers holds two other jobs.

In conversations with lottery officials, the teachers indicated no desire to retire, he said. "They said, 'I can't give up my kids,'" he said.

Two have plans to travel in Europe; the third will use his winnings to pay for his children's college educations. They all plan on buying new homes. But they won't retire, because they are perfect.

"If it can't be you, these are precisely the people that you would want to see win the lottery," said Stephen Martino, the director of the Maryland Lottery. Which is a nice sentiment, except for the fact that the person who we would all want to see win the lottery is actually either some distant cousin we can mooch off of, or ourselves. But cheers to the three amigos.

[CNN, Photo: AP]