A Judge has ruled that the legendary sex tape starring John Edwards and his mistress Rielle Hunter must be destroyed because, if unleashed, it could block out the sun and bring a thousand-year night to the Earth. The judge has ordered the tape to be cast into the very fires from which it was forged: a massive flaming Sambuca in some trashy beach bar.

No, actually, Hunter was suing John Edwards' old aide, Andrew Young, who had the tape, for possession of the unfortunate artifact, and the judge sided with her. Now only the gross details will live on. [Politico]