Forest Pot Patrol Arrested for Allegedly Growing Pot
As the resident watchwoman of the Cook County Forest Preserve in Chicagoland, USA, Cynthia Wojtanowski was supposed to make sure that nobody ever used forest lands to grow their deadly devil weed. The County's definition of "nobody" included "Cook County Forest Preserve watchwomen named Cynthia Wojtanowski."
Seems that Wojtanowski's superiors didn't inform her of this fact, however, because this week law enforcement busted her and her live-in boyfriend for allegedly growing weed on the property surrounding their forest preserve-owned house. A concerned citizen, who deserves some sort of award for trying to protect Chicagoland's youth from turning into psycho white men, tattled on Wojtanowski and kickstarted an investigation. A forest preserve superintendent told the Sun-Times that investigators discovered pot plants growing "in the vicinity of the home," that it "seemed like it was more than for an individual's use," and that Wojtanowski had known of its presence. Upon hearing the news of Wojtanowski's arrest, America celebrated.
As part of her punishment, Wojtanowski's been evicted from her forest house, which is even worse than being banished from the Garden of Eden because Eden's jogging trails weren't nearly as nice.
