Joe Biden is currently touring China, where his speeches are so long and boring, they are literally inciting violence. Or, so says the Chinese government, which has been trying to shove reporters out the door every time Biden calls for "openness and candor" in Chinese-American relations:

It was right about this time that a near-brawl was breaking out about a hundred feet away from the diplomatic exchanges in the Eastern Hall of the Great Hall of the People.

Only minutes into Biden's remarks, Chinese officials had begun to direct reporters toward the exits. Most reporters and the vice president's staff objected, saying it was important to cover the entirety of Biden's opening statement, as had been the agreement between officials beforehand.

A Chinese press aide said Biden was going on far too long for their liking. But in fact, including the consecutive translation of his comments from English to Chinese, Biden spoke only two or three minutes longer than [Chinese Vice President] Xi had.

Soon the stern shooing turned into forceful shoving. As reporters tried to stand their ground, Chinese officials locked arms and pushed forward in a show of overwhelming force. Soon enough Biden did finish, but reporters had difficulty hearing the entire thing because of the fisticuffs.

That's right, in China they are fighting tooth and nail to stay in Joe Biden's presence. Chinese officials say they weren't trying to censor Biden, it's just that he wouldn't shut up! You know Joe! He'll talk your ear off if you don't beat him into submission. [LA Times, Image of Biden and Xi via Getty]