A new study by the tar-like, semi-edible spreadable substance from Britain, Marmite (huh?), explains why Mondays are typically depressing and what can be done to make the start of your work week less awful. Here's what we have learned from Marmite:

  • 11:16 am is the average time that people begin to smile
  • You will only get 3.5 hours of work done today
  • You have a 50 percent chance of being late to work today
  • The Olds (45-54) will bitch and moan for approximately 12 minutes today
  • Tribal instincts are at the heart of our hatred of Mondays, according to Professor Alex Gardner: "Work could be the best place for you on Monday because we are essentially cavemen in city suits."

Enlightened yet? Marmite also suggests five groundbreaking activities that should help you get over a bad Monday:

  • Watching television
  • Fuckin'
  • Buying crap online
  • Eating chocolate
  • Booking a vacation

Thank god for Marmite science! Now we know that people hate Mondays, but like to eat, bone and watch TV.

[Telegraph; image via Shutterstock]