Park Slope parents, your salvation is cometh! You've probably been wondering to yourself, "How are we going to pay for little Maxim's $800 per hour private school tutors in a few years, what with this massive house payment on our Park Slope co-op?" Not to fear! McSweeney's is now accepting your children, for indoctrination!

The only mystery is why it took the literary twee factory so long to launch a children's branch. Children love twee! And now McSweeney's-certified kiddie book imprint McMullen's is launching, to ensure that your children are never again forced to read a common sort of book. But why now?

"We're doing this today - and not in 2007 or 2014, say - because now just feels like the right time," Mr. McMullen explained in an e-mail.

Ah...ha. There is a reason, of course. If you're the McMullen's type, you'll understand it. No explanations necessary. So what kinds of books are they?

"We Need a Horse," written by Sheila Heti and illustrated by Clare Rojas, is another first effort. It features, oddly, a fox on its cover, and tells a staple childhood tale, that of the animal who questions his identity and ultimately finds his place in the world.

Emo stories with nonsensical covers. Perfect. Twenty years from now your kid will have a degree from Brown and be fronting a band in the Bushwickesque neighborhood of the future, and they will know that they could not have been better prepared.

[NYT]