Is teach pale, a beached whale? A new study out of the normally conscientious nation of Canada indicates that assistant professors in that peaceful nation's institutes of higher learning are woefully deficient in the "Fourth R": exercise.

Only three out of ten assistant professors in Canada got a measly half hour of exercise on "most days of the week." And that's in a nation with a far lower rate of roadside fried chicken establishments! The implications for professors here in America are frightening. From Inside Higher Ed:

Though he was not aware of similar research ever being done on American professors, the findings were not at all surprising to Dale R. Wagner, associate professor of exercise physiology at Utah State University, and president of the American Society of Exercise Physiologists. "Anecdotally and just from conversations with peers, I have observed the same pattern in university professors in the U.S.A., including myself," he wrote in an e-mail. "Even though, as an exercise physiologist, I am more aware of the importance of regular physical activity than most people, I still find myself falling into periods of inactivity during especially busy times during the academic year."

Christ, even Dale Wagner, a man who climbed Mt. Everest, is falling into periods of inactivity during especially busy times during the academic year. Do we as a nation really want our professors to be spending all day sitting in the library? Or, you know, strumming ukeleles?

There is only one solution to this problem. You professors are so smart? You figure it out.

[Inside Higher Ed, photo via AP]