Gelatinous cartoon slumlord Donald Trump is facing some tough questions about his previous political positions in his pretend campaign for president. He's already won, really, if this promotional stunt to increase the ratings of Celebrity Apprentice is getting reporters to read whatever dumb book he wrote in 2000 to dig up his arbitrary political stances of the time.

Back then he supported a government-run single-payer health care system like Canada's, as well as a 14.25% surtax on the rich to pay off the entire national debt. These stances don't square with the favored policy prescriptions of the Tea Party, whose supporters he addressed in a speech this weekend.

TPM was able to pull Trump aside for an interview beforehand and ask about these diametrically opposite political positions he's held at various points in the past decade. You can watch him mumble about them in the clip above, but here's the summary:

  • On health care: He just wants a system that works. ObamaCare is evil. He will protect seniors. He will protect seniors, again. Finally, he'll protect seniors. (He appears to be going for the "seniors vote.")
  • On taxes: Maybe you could have raised taxes ten years ago. But you can't raise taxes now. Too risky.

There really isn't much more to ask, is there? Let's crown the man President for Life, ASAP.